We have something called the Max Fun Drive here at the Maximum Fun Network happens once a year.

It's when we do the vast majority of our online fundraising. Don't worry, it's not going on right now.

During the drive, all the shows create special content. We try to get big-name guests. We hit social media platforms super hard,

and we set goals for the number of new contributors to our shows. And after I have set that goal

here for my show, I turn a huge crank wheel and

I open up a massive coursing flood of anxiety. Anxiety that shoots out like water through a hydroelectric

dam or like a hydroelectric dam that is collapsing. This anxiety, spigot, dam water thing is a metaphor.

Now, I was in public radio for 20 years. I've been on the mic for many a member drive. I know

that if you ask people to donate, they will, and thank you, if you

have. But if I'm not careful, I start equating the number of people who support the show

with a kind of quantitative measure of my self-worth. It's messed up. That anxiety, worrying about that kind of thing, about those goals,

and about that self-measurement, that anxiety is part of what's called a cognitive distortion.

And yes, I'm aware of it. I pay attention to mental health things as part of my existence on earth and part of my work,

which includes this here podcast.

It's Depresh Mode.

I'm John Moe.

I'm glad you're here.

Now, here's another weird part of what we're doing here.

It's possible that you and I, you the listener, and me, John, exist in a kind of parasycial

relationship. I talk into your headphones and I get deeply personal, but you probably don't

talk into my headphones. You and I would probably get along, but we don't actually know each other. At least not yet.

Anyway, so during the last Max Fun Drive, I said that if we reached our goal, I'd release an

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