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So I want to say something about birthdays, which is I typically don't like my birthday.

The lower the expectation, the less I act like it's my birthday, the better. But there has to be

some version of a reflection. Otherwise, then it's more depressing because it's like it didn't even

happen. So it's a weird dance. And it's not that because it's like it didn't even happen.

So it's a weird dance and it's not that I'm self-involved and who gives a shit that it's my birthday. Like I don't love many holidays. I just find it to be this buildup and was it what

you expected and are you in a relationship and are you not and what's the meaning and it's really just a whole

thing and many people do understand and the crash out for me is really only on my birthday people think

it's when I'm eating seafood in a hotel room or when I'm dancing hip hop on the way to a date

and a sexy outfit none of these they were eating cottage cheese or food on my

face. None of these things are the crash out. The crash out is, in fact, my birthday. That is when

at some point it happens. For me, it was the day before my birthday this time. I slept twice

during the day. I was a fucking zombie. I just felt depressed and weird. I was reflecting on a past relationship. I was even

contemplating getting back together with a past relationship. And I corrected myself because I

think that moments of vulnerability and reflection and meaning and

holidays can fuck around with us. And I think that that is risky and tricky business. If you know

yourself and you're somewhat like that, you need a low lift. Like you need just to do something, but not try to do

everything. You're not supposed to try to hit a home run. You're supposed to go easy, give yourself

grace, be rested, do something meaningful. My birthday meaning was getting in bed with my daughter

this morning before she went to school. Her alarm went off.

She likes to keep snoozing it. And we laid together and had the most beautiful snuggle.

Like to me, that's my rose. That's my birthday. Just a snuggle with my child because we've been

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