I think you could take over Wall Street with your pussy.

Why does it have to be my pussy, Jamie?

Because that's all I am to a fucking vagina.

I'm just a fucking hole.

Yeah, you are a hole.

All right.

Well, guys, if you're listening, if you're new to Two Girls One Blunt, or you are an Austin- Austin based person or you saw Emily or me on Kill

Tony. We're producing our very first comedy show here in Austin at Vulcan Gas Company Friday,

December 27th from 7 to 9 p.m. Get your tickets on the Vulcan website. And yeah, we have some

great comics coming through. If you're a good little boy or a good little girl and you get your friends to buy tickets, DM us and we'll send you a 20% off link for your ticket. Yeah. And we're going to work on a sponsorship. We might be passing out free Js for everyone who buys a ticket. Yeah. I'm not, don't hold us by that. It's not in the contract yet, but we're working on it. We're doing our best out here, okay? And that's all we can fucking do. Yeah, but don't get too high. And then you're laughing inside and you're like the whole show. And then you're like, that was great because I'll off myself if I don't hear verbal laughs. We're like Tinkerbell. We need laughter to survive. We need that validation, the attention.

I only feel comfortable hitting on people. I'm not trying to fuck. Yeah. If I'm trying to fuck you,

then I go, eat, eat what? And I go, I don't know. I'm just here. And that usually works.

It doesn't work for me. It hasn't been working. No, because you're not putting yourself out there. Yeah, because all I'm surrounded by are fucking open micers. What am I going to put myself out there for fucking Bob Slob on the Tuesday? Yeah, that's why you have to get out there. I'm telling you, get on these apps. I can't. Meet him in. Jamie, you got me banned from all of the apps, bitch. We just, what if we did a joint comp? What if we did a joint hinge profile and you log in on mine? And then it's just both of our pictures. Then we say choose your fighter. Pick your,

which one are you trying to talk to? Now, like, I'm trying to talk to number one or number two.

I'm trying to talk both of them. I'm going to eat one of these carrots. I got to swallow this

gum. I'm going away for the weekend and I think it's time I quit vaping. But I'm afraid

to not shit for the weekend because I stopped vaping.

When I went away last year to see rose-colored glasses, I didn't vape for like the week I was with him.

So I think going to see a friend.

Did you shit? I did not shit. Yeah. I can't quit vaping and that's the perfect time to see a friend. I did not ship.

Yeah.

I can't quit vaping and that's the perfect time to quit vaping.

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