I'm Sam Waterston of the popular TV series Law and Order.

As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose.

Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.

Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of a robot attack.

Old glory insurance. Old glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration.

You need to feel safe, and that's harder and harder to do nowadays

because robots may strike at any time.

And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free,

because they're made of metal and robots are strong.

So don't cower under your afghan any longer.

Make a choice. Old glory insurance.

For when the metal ones decide to come for you.

Hey there, everybody. Welcome to a Friday afternoon edition of TVTL.

This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

Oh, ma. Pa. It's just beautiful.

My name is Luke Perbank. I am your host,

weighing in at 181 pounds. I bear no blood relation to the screenwriter of speed,

but I am currently on it.

If I were on speed, I actually would probably be down where I want to be in the weight department.

But you know, we'll get after it today, get our jog on, and try to, try to.

TCB, as Elvis's crew used to say, take care of business.

TC, some B. We've got some B for you here on this Friday. I'll tell you what.

...