Once a month, my colleague, Jordan Morris, steps into the recording booth to tell us what's

up, what's down, what's hot, what's not, what's worthwhile, and what's worth tossing

in God's United States.

Here he is with Jordan Ranks America.

New to the list at number five this month, it's Dad's Tempor.

Hugs and yells are both possible when you play mood roulette with mom's main man.

Holding steady at number four, it's pure maple syrup.

Mrs. Butterworth and her chemical-based slop can take a hike.

This is the good stuff.

Debuting at number three this month, it's a 35-year-old in a misfits t-shirt.

This tubby party animal proves that just because you have a couple of kids doesn't mean

you can't drink during the day and listen to songs about monsters.

Rocketing onto the list at number two, it's Christmas music.

Previously thought to be annoying, these seasonal tunes have proven to be beneficial to both

pet behavior and male potency.

And our number one list item this week gets shelving.

Done with a book?

Don't just throw it away, place it on a shelf for later use.

You'll be glad you did.

From the bottom to the top, I'm Jordan Morris.

Jordan Morris joins us once a month for Jordan Rakes America here on the Sound of Young

America.

...