The only reason I took this case on a savage island off the coast of New Guinea

was that I'd been having a bout with a bottle of old fairy godmother,

and I was hoping to run into a native who would shrink my head.

This is another in the Adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator Johnny Dollar.

At insurance investigation, Johnny Dollar is only an expert.

At making out his expense account, he's an absolute genius.

Defense account, submitted it. Best accounts submitted by special investigator Johnny Dulles.

Two Seventh-Seas Maritime Underwriters Association, Hartford, Connecticut.

Attention, Enos McArdle, General Manager.

The following is an accounting of my expenditures during my assignment on the island of Tinut.

Or south of the equator, things can get hot and more ways than one.

Or, mother, call my draft board. I'm leaving the country again.

Expense account, item one. $830.81 and $81 and three and a half shilling.

Airfare, Hartford, Connecticut to Port Moresby, territory of Papua, island of New Guinea.

That's a long trip, brother.

By the time I got there, I felt that my spine could use a new seating arrangement.

Expense account, items two. $36.80. New outfit consisting of bush jackets, linen shorts, and a piff helmet.

Item three, two bits. The street beggar regarding location of building in which was situated the Port Morsey branch of the Seventh-Maritime Hunter's Association. Oh, him, long on the house, him blow up a fellow. Little way, big, bit, money, money. You got to the street, longside, hurry, honey. You hear joyous big telebook if you fight him cry! Him long a house blown from there, no?

No.

Thanks a lot.

I'll go look it up in a cell phone book.

Oh!

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