Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm Bill of Jesse Thorne. It's the end of the year and it's time for our annual Judge John Hodgman office holiday party. With me as always.

He's the holiday man, Judge John Hodgman.

It's beginning to smell a lot like mustard.

All throughout the house.

No spoils. No spoilers.

But when you think of holiday smells,

you think grape jelly and mustard and that's wafting into my

nostrils here on the j-J ho-ho-ho-ho-ho office holiday party. Jesse last time we did this you couldn't join us because you pretended to be sick to get out of eating all this weird food.

Yeah, I pretended to have a debilitating chronic illness.

Viscayne headaches. to have a debilitating chronic illness, migraine headaches, a permanent disability.

Let's just say it was convenient.

Look, a migraine is never convenient for you and anyone who has to struggle with them and I apologize for that.

But you got out eating some weird food the last time we did this, but this time you're back.

I hope in good fettle and no hope of escape for you. This is a

tradition that started a while ago when we invited people to send in their

most treasured or most interesting family recipes for the holidays.

Distinctive.

What other euphemisms for weird and disgusting are there?

We wanted their most treasured family recipes and what we got

instead was tomato soup salad and you weren't around when we had the tomato this is a

cold molded salad made of tomato soup,

gelatin, cream cheese, bell pepper, and onion.

...