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improv4humans with Matt Besser

Jessica McKenna, Dominic Dierkes, Brandon Gardner

improv4humans with Matt Besser

Matt Besser

Comedy

4.92.8K Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2016

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Matt's First Locker-Room Talk - Jessica McKenna, Dominic Dierkes, and Brandon Gardner join Matt Besser this week to engage in consensual locker-room talk. Maggie Smith refuses to come out to sign for her packages, Tori Spelling lands a starring role as a boat, and the world's most annoying poker player inspires a scene that follows the life of man with mirrors in his eyes.This episode is sponsored by Squarespace.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Improv for humans is sponsored by Squarespace, whether you need a landing page, a beautiful gallery,

0:06.3

a professional blog, an online store. It's all included with your Squarespace website. Start

0:11.3

your free trial today at squarespace.com and enter offer code improv. That's the word improv.

0:20.2

To get 10% off your first purchase, Squarespace, set your website apart.

0:27.4

I had a 45 minute Uber ride yesterday with this woman talking about the election,

0:32.5

but very conflicting views. It was hard to follow. She's like, I voted for Hillary. She's like,

0:38.6

but then she would say things like, you couldn't quite follow. What they want to do to walk in like a tramp?

0:44.0

Still don't know what that means. Walk in like a tramp. I think she meant that I think she was

0:50.2

alluding to her likability, but it was very hard to follow. But it was like a 45 minute ride

0:54.4

to me and like, yeah, yeah, right? I don't know why I had a tramp in her mind of all the things she's

0:59.9

called. That's not one of them, is it? No, no. But yeah, she's almost like, I wish she had been more

1:06.5

tramp. It's hard to follow. Right. Okay. Yeah, but she was too compromised herself too much. I don't

1:13.3

know. I don't know. Don't make her dumb remark intelligent. I feel like my Uber driver would be

1:21.2

very likely to lie to me about if they voted for Trump. Yeah, like I feel like there are more

1:26.4

Uber drivers who did that than I would expect them to be very at Trump. Like I get in the car

1:31.3

and they're like, yeah, I voted for Trump. I'm happy about it. You're stuck with me. Yeah.

1:36.8

Wait a minute, Dominic, you're saying more Uber drivers. That's a Trump demographic. I think that

1:44.1

yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's a Trump demographic. I don't even know if a majority of Uber

1:48.1

I just mean like for me to encounter a Trump voter, I imagine that my Uber driver is probably the

1:54.1

and I don't think that they would be honest with me about it. Okay, I'm going to the airport.

1:58.8

LAX and can you do me a favor? Just no politics. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have to we have to

2:09.4

talk politics. I mean, what are you, what areas of politics are you not interested in? Well,

...

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