Attention at all passengers. You can now book your train tickets on Uber and get 10% back in Uber credits to spend on your next train journey.

So no excuses not to visit your in-laws this Christmas.

Trains now on Uber. T's and C's apply check the Uber app.

Just imagine what your best Christmas ever would sound like.

Thank you for calling National Lottery and I can see you calling about a winner today, is that correct?

Yeah, I think I have. I should take a double check for the car wheel.

Yeah, I can confirm that you have won the top prize 1.2 million.

Oh my word! Happy Christmas! Why do you know?

You have the best Christmas ever.

I got a hair thing.

This Christmas, it could be you.

The National Lottery.

Rules and procedures apply.

Players must be 18 or over.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we'll make a start. Thank you votes for coming. I know the food is an alternative attraction. We'll try and compete with it. My name is Philip Collins, I'm a columnist on The Times.

Thank you very much for coming to the Times Red Box Fringe. For those few of you who

don't know what Red Box is, it's the daily email on politics sent out by the Times, assembled by the second

wittiest man on the Times, Matt Chorley. And you can find a way of signing up

there, the Times dot co-dot UK

for slash redbox email is really worth doing and you could also if you

want to buy one of these excellent novelty mugs which if you can't read the

script says and Jeremy Corbyn clings on full stop obviously

...