Jays Must Listens: You’re Approaching Dating Wrong! (Use THIS Blueprint to Attract the RIGHT Person) Ft. Vanessa Van Edwards & Jillian Turecki
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 28.5K Ratings
🗓️ 5 November 2025
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
How do you know if someone’s really right for you?
Has there ever been a time you thought someone was right for you but turned out wrong?
Today, Jay brings together four of today’s most insightful voices on love and relationships, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jillian Turecki, Sadia Khan, and Lori Gottlieb, for a deep and honest look at what it really takes to find meaningful connection in the modern world. They share how our signals, habits, and self-perception shape our experiences in dating far more than luck or timing ever could. Vanessa breaks down the subtle science of attraction, and why confidence and openness often matter more than appearance. Jillian helps us face our fear of rejection, reminding us that love isn’t about finding “the one,” but about choosing and growing with someone intentionally.
Sadia and Lori take us deeper, showing how self-esteem, honesty, and emotional maturity determine who we allow into our lives. Sadia challenges the patterns that keep us stuck with the wrong people, while Lori highlights the courage it takes to speak our truth and set boundaries early on. Together, their insights form a roadmap for dating that feels healthy, grounded, and real.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Build Confidence Through Body Language
How to Date Without Burning Out
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
How to Choose the Right Person, Not the Perfect One
How to Stop Choosing Emotionally Unavailable People
How to Be Honest About What You Want in Love
Love isn’t something that happens by accident, it’s something you learn to create with intention. Every experience, whether it leads to a spark or a lesson, brings you closer to understanding what you truly need and deserve.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty.
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:50 The Flirtation Signals You’re Missing
09:19 The Three Biggest Dating Mistakes
13:32 Rejection is Like a Muscle
16:37 You Shouldn’t Rush Real Love
21:17 The Fear of the Unknown in Relationships
22:22 Who You Give Your Energy To Shapes Your Love Life
24:29 Why Are We Drawn to Emotionally Unavailable People?
26:01 The Real Reason You’re Struggling to Find a Partner
27:49 Are Your Standards Too High?
29:16 Is It Ever Okay to Ghost?
30:52 The Power of Being Honest About What You Want
32:47 Your Present Habits Reveal Your Relationship’s Future
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an IHeart podcast. |
| 0:04.6 | What if you've been approaching dating all wrong? |
| 0:07.9 | Maybe you've put yourself out there but nothing clicks, or you're still waiting for the right |
| 0:12.3 | person. |
| 0:13.3 | Over half of singles today are open to love, yet more than 60% feel burned out by apps. |
| 0:19.8 | The truth is, finding love isn't about perfection. It's about |
| 0:23.1 | showing up authentically, reading the right signals, and attracting real connection. In this episode, |
| 0:29.2 | we're joined by body language specialist Vanessa Van Edwards, love expert Jillian Taraki, |
| 0:35.4 | relationship coach, Sadia Khan, and psychotherapist Laurie Gottlieb, |
| 0:40.0 | a masterclass on attraction, chemistry, and building relationships that last. |
| 0:45.1 | Let's get into it. |
| 0:46.0 | The number one health and wellness podcast. |
| 0:48.6 | Jay Shetty. |
| 0:49.4 | Jay Shetty. |
| 0:50.1 | He won, the only. |
| 0:51.8 | Jay Shetty. |
| 0:54.5 | Social scientist Vanessa Van Edwards shifts our attention to the subtleties of connection, |
| 1:00.7 | specifically the cues we give off in dating and attraction that often go unnoticed. |
| 1:06.2 | She explains that we think we're obvious when we're interested, but research shows we're not. |
| 1:11.6 | In fact, people recognize flirting only 28% of the time, and women often have to send multiple |
| 1:18.1 | signals quickly just to be understood. Take a listen and stay tuned for the takeaway. |
| 1:23.6 | Let's say you're at a workout class. Let's say you're at a social space. |
... |
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