It’s Not You: The Real Reason Adult Friendship Is So Hard & 3 Ways to Make It Easier

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 10.6K Ratings

🗓️ 24 April 2025

⏱️ 91 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you’ve ever felt like making friends as an adult feels impossible, or you’ve looked around and thought, "Where did all my friends go?" – you’re not alone. In this episode, Danielle Bayard Jackson is sharing the real reasons why female friendship can feel so complicated, based on research and the advice you need to hear. Danielle is one of the country’s leading experts on female friendship, the Director of the Women's Relational Health Institute, and the bestselling author of Fighting For Our Friendships. She teaches women how to build and maintain better friendships using proven, science-backed methods, and today, she’s here to clear up the confusion, cut through the drama, and break down exactly what you need to know about female friendship. Today, you’ll learn: -Why adult friendships change so much—and what it really means -Why it’s okay if you don’t have a BFF (and what to do about it) -Why female friendships can get messy and how to handle it -What do do when friendships fade -The subtle ways you might be pushing people away without realizing it -Simple, powerful steps to make new friends, rekindle old ones, navigate conflict, and strengthen your support system No matter your age or stage of life, it’s not too late. If you’ve ever felt lonely, disconnected, or like making new friends is impossible, this conversation will show you exactly what to do next. For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked this episode, and want more tools, tips, and scripts to create more meaningful relationships, listen to this one next: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study on Happiness Connect with Mel: Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:07.9	I just read this book all about friendship. And it dives deep into something super fascinating,
0:14.7	which is the science and art of conflict in friendship. And the research on this is really clear. See, friendship for women,
0:24.1	it's totally different than the experience of friendship that you guys have. I mean, how women
0:29.4	make friends, what we expect of our friends, why so many female friendships have drama and
0:34.6	tension, frenemies? You've heard the term, right? We're going to dig into the
0:38.3	science of why that's a thing. And you're going to also understand how they become so deep and
0:43.9	intense and yet so fragile. You'll even understand why female friendship is often competitive,
0:50.3	toxic, mean. So if you've ever struggled with female friendship, or if you're listening
0:56.0	right now and you're like, wow, there's someone in my life that's currently struggling, whether
1:00.0	it's your sister, your daughter, your girlfriend, your wife, your roommate, your friend,
1:03.9	how about your friend who's losing her mind right now? Because she is so worried about picking
1:08.7	her bridesmaids and there's so much drama around it, I'll tell you,
1:13.0	you're not the only one who's having difficulty right now with female friendship. And this
1:17.9	conversation, it's going to change the game. Because you're going to learn so many interesting
1:23.5	facts about how women make, break, find, and keep friends, how it's different than how guys do it.
1:31.2	And regardless of where you are in friendship, you're going to love this. And I'm saying whether
1:35.4	you feel right now like you got no one, you just got kicked out of your friend group, or you're
1:40.4	bum because you never see your female friends, or maybe you're sad because you're growing distant from people you were once close with.
1:47.0	Or you're just wanting to create new, awesome female friendships.
1:51.0	Well, I want you to know what you're feeling is normal.
1:54.0	And there's a reason why we all struggle with this.
	...

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