Well, I don't know about you, but sometimes in my marriage, my competitive nature comes out.

If we are playing on the same team, we win, but if we play against each other,

it doesn't always turn out so well, and it's not always my fault. I'm John Fuller joined

by Dr. Greg Smalley and his wife Aaron.

They lead the Focus Marriage Department here and Aaron let me turn this one to you.

When we start competing against our spouse, it doesn't always go well and what's kind of the underlying thing besides that I'm

going to pre-answer my own question selfishness maybe?

Actually I wonder if there's not one or both spouses feeling taken advantage of or feeling alone

underneath that. I know Greg and I had so many of those conversations when we had

young kids especially and you know he would walk in after a long day at work and I

worked a little bit and was at home most of the time and you know it's not fair who did more you know weighing

back and forth and pretty soon we realize that conversation will never go

anywhere good so we did we decided we are not going to have that conversation now even though I won the

conversation that is the goal offering yes

But I think it's important to go deeper than that and go what's really going on are you feeling

taken advantage of does it feel unfair and that's an important conversation to have.

Yeah when you mentioned you won those conversations I'm thinking and Aaron is feeling like I lost.

So the team lost.

Yeah.

Well, let's go ahead and turn to a conversation that focused President Jim Dalyhead with Bill

and Pam Farrell and they share very

candidly about some tension and some competition that they experienced.

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