It Doesn't Have to Be One Or The Other | After Hours With Amanda Ep. 8
After Hours With Amanda
After Hours With Amanda
5.0 • 697 Ratings
🗓️ 19 November 2020
⏱️ 42 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of After Hours With Amanda, I’m talking about motherhood, identity, and the middle ground between “I am barely surviving” and “everything is Pinterest perfect.”
This one came from hearing people say mom content online makes motherhood look terrifying, like becoming a mom means losing yourself completely. So I’m getting into feeling unequipped, having two emotions at once, the refillable cup, mom guilt, kids seeing us as people, and why being a mom is not your whole identity. It is a title.
Not a rulebook. Just a long voicemail between friends, learning out loud and doing our best.
00:00 Thursday Chaos and a Self Check In
01:00 Two Emotions Can Exist at Once
02:25 Welcome to After Hours With Amanda
04:04 Peach Tea, Puppy Exhaustion, and Sleep
06:45 What Mom Content Makes People Feel
08:08 The Teaching Class Story Setup
09:27 The Two Extremes of Mom Culture
11:11 What Are We Feeding Our Minds?
12:06 Your Parents Don’t Decide Your Future
13:40 Daniel Tiger in the Taco Bell Parking Lot
14:45 You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Parent
16:31 You Don’t Have to Like Every Kid
18:55 The Classroom Moment That Shook Me
24:47 Boxing In the Identity of a Mom
26:33 Your Kids Are Getting to Know You Too
29:11 Motherhood Has an Ebb and Flow
33:37 Being a Mom Is a Title
38:22 You Get to Choose Your Identity
40:16 What Kids Remember Is the Love
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey. All right, you guys, can I be totally honest? It's 218 on a Thursday and I'm about to post this |
| 0:06.7 | episode right after I finish it because it's how I live. My week has been crazy. How is yours? How are you |
| 0:15.9 | feeling? Have you done a self-check-in lately? Let's take a minute. Check in with yourself. I'll tell you what, |
| 0:24.7 | this week has been interesting. We had a mouth injury with Corey earlier this week. Oh, and if you know me |
| 0:30.6 | in real life. And I like to think we're all friends. We just haven't met yet. But if you know me in |
| 0:35.3 | real life, I called my girlfriend hysterical, you know I can't do |
| 0:38.2 | the mouth. Two things that I am not equipped for that people assume all moms just like |
| 0:44.3 | roll with. Injuries and snot. Oh my gosh, you guys, I cannot stand snot. I would rather clean up |
| 0:51.6 | barf. I would rather clean up like the most disgusting |
| 0:56.7 | diaper in the entire world than deal with snot. I just can't. It is my Achilles Hill, |
| 1:02.3 | as is any injury having to do with the mouth. I cannot do mouth injuries. It freaks me out. |
| 1:17.1 | Anyways, so do that self-check-in and remind yourself of this, it is okay to feel two emotions at once. Your day does not have to be good or bad. It can |
| 1:24.9 | have an ebb and flow to it. Your day does not have to be half |
| 1:29.7 | glass half empty, glass half full. It can be refillable. You can start negatively and in |
| 1:35.1 | positively. You can start positively and in negatively. The human condition is actually the fact |
| 1:41.3 | that we have emotions that ebb and flow throughout the day and somehow we've |
| 1:45.7 | bought into this really distorted lie that you either have a good day or a bad day. |
| 1:52.4 | No. Now, yeah, you do have bad days sometimes. That doesn't mean it didn't start out good. It doesn't |
| 1:57.2 | wash away all the things that you've done that are good. And so I just want to encourage you today as you check in with yourself, which you need to do. |
| 2:05.0 | And if no one has done that for you, take this time. |
| 2:08.0 | I don't know what you're doing right now. |
| 2:09.3 | I love to picture what y'all are doing. |
... |
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