Is there an easy way to help someone understand they are being emotionally abusive?

Love and Abuse

Paul Colaianni

Mental Health, Lies, Emotional, Health & Fitness, Psychological, Society & Culture, Deception, Manipulation, Narcissism, Verbal, Abuse, Relationships

4.6 • 816 Ratings

🗓️ 11 July 2021

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you told a "normal" person they were being emotionally abusive, you'd think they'd back off and re-evaluate their behavior. After all, people who care about you don't want to hurt you. At least, that's the hope. Is there an easy way to convey to them that their hurtful words and actions are destroying the relationship so that they'll "get it" and treat you nicer?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior.
0:07.4	You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
0:10.9	That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior so that you keep your power and your sanity.
0:18.2	I'm your host, Paul Koliani.
0:31.6	Music power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliani. Welcome to another episode of love and abuse. All the information on this show is meant
0:36.1	for educational purposes only. Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being. And always pick your battles wisely. And I'm going to read you a quick message for today's program. This might be a quick program, actually. Because the message is very short and it requires just a short answer I believe we'll
0:58.0	find out here in a second but this person wrote I have a simple question how do I make it easy for
1:04.4	the emotional abuser to recognize he is abusive if he can't see it, the relationship will not survive. That was it.
1:13.5	That's the question. And I want to thank this person for writing. Obviously, she is working
1:18.3	through something in that relationship and she is dealing with this. It's not actually a simple
1:24.5	question. It's a difficult question because if you're in an emotionally
1:28.4	abusive relationship, most likely what's going to happen is that the person doing the abusive
1:36.2	behavior is going to think they're right. So that is the first hurdle when you're dealing with somebody who's being emotionally abusive.
1:46.5	They're going to think they're right in what they're doing.
1:50.3	They're going to think that they need to do it.
1:53.1	They might believe that if they don't do it, then the relationship won't be hanging by the string that it's on now.
2:01.6	That might be a little bit of an exaggeration,
2:03.6	but it could be close to the truth.
2:05.8	They may think that the relationship is only as good as it is,
2:10.8	even though it's not that great,
2:12.9	or at least it's been very difficult,
2:14.9	because of what they're doing.
	...

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