Is motherhood your HIGHEST calling? Let’s debate it with Vicki Courtney
Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids
Scarlet Hiltibidal and Christian Parenting
4.9 • 850 Ratings
🗓️ 18 September 2025
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Buckle in for a fantastic and thought-provoking chat with author and speaker Vicki Courtney. Have you ever heard the phrase, “motherhood is your highest calling” ? Did you believe it? And do you agree with it?
I love that Vicki is looking back as a grandmother and assessing this common phrase and belief that impacted her motherhood journey. She wants to help our generation properly grapple with our highest calling. She believes motherhood is a high calling but not THE highest calling. And there is a difference.
This statement isn’t just about semantics. If we believe motherhood is our highest calling, then the way we parent is informed and impacted by that belief. That belief ushers in perfectionism and pressure that’s not manageable. I loved this conversation and mindset shift - not just for myself but for my daughters. Let’s look to scripture and make sure we are all on the same page - that our highest calling is actually not motherhood.
My favorite part is when Vicki talks about the trap of comparison at the end. She helps us dial down the guilt and increase the freedom that is found in Jesus. I am grateful for the encouragement and teaching of Vicki Courtney. Her work has mattered to me at every phase of motherhood.
Enjoy!
Courtney
(00:00) Reconnecting and Reflecting on the Past
(04:49) The Journey of Motherhood and Writing
(09:36) Rethinking Motherhood as a Calling
(14:06) The Pressure of Perfectionism in Parenting
(19:02) Finding Balance and Freedom in Motherhood
(23:41) Embracing Identity Beyond Motherhood
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Motherhood is not your highest calling by Vicki Courtney
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Christian Parenting. |
| 0:03.5 | Christian Parenting. |
| 0:13.5 | Hey friends, welcome back to Pardon the Mess. |
| 0:15.5 | I'm your host, Courtney Defeo, and I am so fired up to have Vicki, Courtney, here today. |
| 0:20.1 | And if you had kids, when I did, 2006, 2008, 9, you will remember her because she was one of those |
| 0:27.4 | author speakers in the mom's face that we lapped up every book of hers. |
| 0:31.2 | And I just, I got to tell her today, which is kind of fun, that she really did have an impact |
| 0:36.1 | on my parenting. |
| 0:36.7 | And here she is. |
| 0:37.8 | Almost 20 years later, she's got 10 grandkids and she's written a new book called Motherhood |
| 0:42.4 | is not your highest calling. And this is controversial a little bit. It's not really. But it's like, |
| 0:47.9 | why, where did we get that narrative? Because it's not biblical to say that motherhood is your |
| 0:51.8 | very top purpose or calling. Is it a high one? Yes. Is it an important? |
| 0:56.6 | Yes. Is it biblical? Yes. But it is not the highest. And so we kind of unpack like, |
| 1:00.8 | what does that narrative do for us as we parent? If we think it's the most important thing that we're |
| 1:05.2 | going to just run ourselves ragged, trying to be perfect and get it all right. And it's also an |
| 1:09.5 | important conversation as far as |
| 1:11.1 | our daughters. Like, are we setting them up to question if they have worth or value if they're not a |
| 1:16.8 | wife or a mom one day? And so these are, this is just a huge conversation. And I'm so thrilled |
| 1:21.7 | that Vicki took a moment off of her grandparenting to kind of dive back into a conversation. |
| 1:26.7 | And as she says, she's like, |
| 1:28.7 | maybe I contributed to that. Maybe it's kind of an apology book to say, I wish I had said this |
... |
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