Hi everybody. Thanks for tuning into the women's dating and confidence podcast. Today's topic is what are his intentions? Before you go on a first date with somebody, you might be worried,

like, does he just want to have something physical? Is he actually seeing this going somewhere?

I want a relationship. I don't want to waste my time. What if he doesn't want that? Should I ask him

if he wants a relationship on the first date? Is that too soon? Like, what is he thinking? So the first

thing I want you to consider is how do you feel when you ask yourself those questions? What are his

intentions? What if he doesn't want a relationship? I'm looking for a relationship and I really need

him to be looking for that too, like those kinds of thoughts. How do they make you feel?

I know when I think that, it kind of puts me in a state of feeling out of control. Basically,

everything's in his hands. If he wants a relationship, that's what's going to happen. If he doesn't,

then it's not happening. And I don't really have any say in this. And when I feel out of control,

I start feeling kind of panicky, a little bit anxious, and honestly, a little bit desperate.

When I feel that way, I start taking actions like trying to please him and trying to make him

want a relationship. I start trying to figure out if he wants a relationship

very early on on the first date by asking him questions like, do you see yourself getting married

within the next year? When do you want kids? Do you want a relationship? Or I might say things like,

hey, I don't want anything casual, okay? I'm not into that. So if that's what you're all

about, then please don't bother me. And I might put that on my profile even on Tinder or Bumble.

I might say, I'm not looking for a casual hookup. Please don't write me if you want a casual

hookup. So those feelings create a kind of nervous energy within me and I feel really

out of control and I don't like the way that that makes me act. And the results of those actions

are scaring him away and not showing up as your most attractive self. The other problem is

not all guys go on first dates thinking that they want a relationship.

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