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Net Positive with John Crist

Irish Goodbye

Net Positive with John Crist

John Crist

Stand-up, Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.81.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 October 2025

⏱️ 70 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Poor decor, having expensive taste, Primetime's prayer, and playing more or less... On the net, it's a positive. ----- JOKES FOR HUMANS TOUR: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 11/7 - Boise, ID 11/8 - Spokane, WA 11/9 - Tacoma, WA 11/20 - Abilene, TX 11/21 - San Antonio, TX 11/22 - Tyler, TX 11/23 - Austin, TX 12/5 - Phoenix, AZ 12/6 - Santa Rosa, CA 12/7 - Redding, CA 12/11 - South Bend, IN 12/12 - Munhall, PA 12/14 - Buffalo, NY 1/23 - Joliet, IL 1/24 - Effingham, IL 1/25 - Nashville, TN 2/20 - Springfield, MO 2/22 - Louisville, KY 2/26 - Ithaca, NY 2/27 - Reading, PA 2/28 - Glenside, PA 3/1 - New York, NY 3/20 - Jackson, MI 3/21 - Rockford, IL 3/22 - Cedar Rapids, IA 3/27 - Columbia, MO 3/28 - Fayetteville, AR 3/29 - Little Rock, AR 4/10 - Stockton, CA 4/11 - Anaheim, CA 4/12 - Thousand Oaks, CA 4/17 - Tucson, AZ 4/18 - Houston, TX 5/2 - Fort Worth, TX 5/3 - Amarillo, TX 5/14 - Wilmington, NC 5/15 - Evans, GA 5/16 - Durham, NC 5/29 - Jacksonville, FL 5/30 - Asheville, NC 5/31 - Columbia, SC 6/4 - Mobile, AL 6/5 - Florence, AL 6/6 - Duluth, GA ----- Catch the full video podcast on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and follow us on social media (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@netpositivepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. ----- Email us at netpositive@johncristcomedy.com ----- FOLLOW JOHN ON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS MOSH: Save 20% off plus FREE shipping on the Best-Sellers Trial Pack at ⁠https://moshlife.com/NETPOSITIVE⁠ PONCHO: Go to ⁠https://ponchooutdoors.com/netpositive⁠ for $10 off and free shipping on your first order ROCKET MONEY: Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions – and manage your money the easy way – by going to ⁠https://RocketMoney.com/netpositive ⁠BRUNT: Go to ⁠http://bruntworkwear.com/⁠ and use code NETPOSITIVE to get $10 OFF ----- PRODUCED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Lagos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lagos Creative Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

If you have Halloween decor in your front yard, you're poor.

0:03.0

Net positive.

0:04.0

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm dialed in this morning coming in.

0:20.0

Usually, what do you guys do before you

0:21.9

come here we actually when you're not here we're just sitting here waiting for you to come

0:25.3

back oh you are like all week we just sit here i just met up with uh yeah i just met up with uh you're

0:30.5

just focused on the next episode we don't leave the seat we just sit at this table when are we getting

0:34.5

locked in next week yeah i was uh me, me and Lydia got coffee this morning.

0:38.6

Nice.

0:39.1

I messed up, dude.

0:55.1

Well, Lydia was making fun of me because I go, we're, I don't know why people that usually say hi when we're out, right? No. I go, this guy goes, John Christ? And I go, yeah. And we're in, it's in the bottom of a hotel where the coffee shop is.

0:58.0

So I figured he's like, yeah, from out of town.

0:55.1

Staying. and I go, yeah. And it's in the bottom of a hotel where the coffee shop is,

0:58.0

so I figured he was like, yeah, from out of town.

0:58.8

Staying there or something.

1:00.8

Yeah, I go from out of town, he goes, oh, yeah.

1:07.5

And I go, yep, I go, you never know what celebrities you're going to see in Nashville.

2:03.6

The girl in front of me goes, she goes, who are you? Oh, no. And that's when John went on a rampage in the rainbow flag coffee shop. Why did I say that? How'd you feel after that? Bad. I go, why did I say that? She goes, why did you say that? I go, I don't know. Have you ever said that? No, dude. That's a crazy thing to say. The girl goes, no, I think she, no, the girl looked back like she was going to be like, Keith Urban, she goes. And then we left. Why did I say that? I don't know. But you know how people are like, oh, well, you never know who you're going to see in Nashville. For sure. I feel like Nashville is like L.A. people, because we, you know, we never see anybody because it's a gated community. Everybody's in the like nobody. But it's like, Nashville. It's like known for that. Saying that about yourself, glumping yourself in though is crazy, bro. Should just came straight here. Cutter just had some wild stuff on a mic instead. I should just left. Hey, you're, you coffee?

2:04.3

No,

2:04.6

I died. Crazy, bro. Should have just came straight here. Cutter just had some wild stuff on a mic instead.

2:01.8

I should just left. Hey, you wear, you coffee? No, I died. No, I don't deserve that. That guy can have it. No, I don't. The girl goes, the look of disgust, like, so disappointed. The look of disappointment. Oh, I thought it was going to see jelly rolling. I thought I was going to know who that was.

2:19.2

Bro, that's terrible.

...

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