This is an ABC podcast.

So I worked at this advertising creative agency and they did this annual award ceremony where they award people for, I don't know, like funny things or silly things.

And I was sort of sitting in the audience obviously not wanting attention but

sort of waiting for my award because I worked really hard at this job I'd like stay late you know

I'd given like so much to it and near the end of the ceremony they finally started announcing this

award and it was for like the person who gave their life over to it and stayed really late

and like had no life because they worked so much and it was the midnight oil The person who gave their life over to it and stayed really late. The person who was sold this, solved this job.

And, like, had no life because they worked so much.

And it was the Midnight Oil Award.

The Midnight Oil Award goes to Jessica Pan.

And they thought it was this, like, huge compliment.

And I was so offended and so hurt by it because I wanted to be noticed for creativity or my ideas or things like that.

You don't want to be rewarded just for like staying late at work. It's really embarrassing.

And that was one of the things that sort of tipped me off the edge, really.

This is dubious award winner Jessica Pan. And when this all went down, she was in her early

30s, wondering what had happened to her journalism career and feeling deeply lonely.

The Midnight Oil Award was the final indignity, and it sparked a year-long quest to see if she could change a key aspect of her personality, one she felt was

responsible for so many of her troubles. You see, Jessica was a lifelong introvert, actually a

shin-trovert. So shin-trovert is a word I made up, it's not technical, and it just stands for

shy introvert. Basically, introversion is a spectrum.

And there are introverts who enjoy public speaking,

but they need to be alone to recharge after a party.

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