In love with someone that wants it both ways: Healing from the obsession over the unhealthy relationship
Love and Abuse
Paul Colaianni
4.6 • 816 Ratings
🗓️ 23 April 2019
⏱️ 74 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Are you waiting for someone else to change so that you can get what you want?
In this episode, I talk about an email I received from a woman who fell in love with a man who went back with his wife. However, he now cheats on his wife to be with her. This has caused her to become obsessive, thinking about him all the time and waiting in pain for him to leave his wife and come back to her.
He has it both ways: A wife and family, and a mistress on the side. What is the incentive for him to change?
Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook on manipulation and emotional abuse at loveandabuse.com. #loveandabuse
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior. |
| 0:07.4 | You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. |
| 0:10.9 | That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior so that you keep your power and your sanity. |
| 0:18.1 | I'm your host, Paul Koliani. So I want you to imagine you falling in love with someone that's going through a divorce. |
| 0:41.8 | And your relationship blossoms and you love each other and they are going through the process of getting the divorce they have kids but they're |
| 0:49.0 | going through the process you realize everything is working out great they're following the right path to separate from their wife or husband. |
| 1:00.6 | And they seem to be making all the right decisions. |
| 1:04.3 | Then one day you find out that they love their kids so much that they can't stand to be away from them anymore. |
| 1:13.4 | And in fact, they want to move back in with the person that's soon to be their ex. |
| 1:20.3 | And, you know, they haven't been living together. |
| 1:22.1 | They had been separated and now they want to move back in. |
| 1:26.1 | And now you are left on the sidelines wondering what just happened. |
| 1:31.9 | In fact, this person loves your kid or kids. |
| 1:35.8 | This person loves you. |
| 1:38.2 | And here she clearly shows that they love you. |
| 1:40.9 | They give you and tell you all about their undying love for you. And now they |
| 1:46.7 | want to move back in with their soon-to-be-X. Just imagine that unfolding because this is the email I got |
| 1:53.3 | today and I wanted to talk about this because it highlights something that a lot of people get |
| 2:00.2 | themselves into. |
| 2:02.3 | And that is, when you grow attached to someone who has trouble making a commitment or taking |
| 2:07.5 | steps in a direction and following that path with a knowing, with a belief that this is what I |
| 2:14.2 | want to do, this is how I want to spend my life. |
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