Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

Do you ever find, did you find, do you find this pattern of people liking, seeming to like you more than you like them?

Like people wanting to hang out with you more than

Yes. This season of life for sure. I mean, for many years, when I didn't have friends and when I didn't

have, you know, a business when I was kind of getting into the working force or the business world,

in order to create opportunities for yourself, you need to know lots of people.

You know, if you're starting a business, you need to get customers and clients.

You need to put yourself out there and meet everyone, essentially, that you can and

offer services and help and, you know, free things to people to get in the door. Then once you

get clients or you have a business or whatever might be, I realized like I was giving too much

to too many people and I had no energy for me. Yes. And I didn't feel like I was receiving in return

from enough people. So I became an overgiver, overshare, over people pleaser.

Because I wanted everyone to like me. Yeah. And I wanted to feel safe emotionally. Yeah.

And then it took the last like seven years, like a swing of me learning how to create better

boundaries, learning how to heal deeper to not feel like I need everyone to like me. Yeah.

Constantly give to everyone. That's so important

realization. And by doing that, by creating these boundaries, it kind of, you know, I've reclaimed

that energy and I've put it into the people that I care about the most. And it doesn't mean I don't

speak to people that they reach out. But it's like, I learn to say no a lot more than when I was, you know, my 20s and over 30s. Because one of the ways that I think of that saying no is what are you saying yes to? Like when I say no to meeting with a new doctoral student at 5 o'clock at night, I'm saying yes to playing with my kids at 5 o'clock, right? And so once I thought thought about it's like so empowering thinking of that.

The reason I asked that question about the potential asymmetry of liking or connectedness

is that you naturally, I mean, you do this now for your job, but from a young age,

it sounds like you were really curious and you were asking questions.

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