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The Daily Motivation

If You're Stressed About The Future, This Will Set You Free | Dr. Ellen Langer

The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Education, Self-improvement

4.8893 Ratings

🗓️ 21 November 2025

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A Harvard professor loses 80% of everything she owns in a house fire and discovers something about human nature that makes her cry for years afterward. Dr. Ellen Langer reveals why most of our stress comes from trying to predict an unpredictable future, and how changing your view of events changes everything.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:10.0

Telling yourself that the world is falling apart, that we're on our way to a dictatorship,

0:17.0

whatever things that are going to keep you up at night is not serving any purpose.

0:21.6

So, do something about it, whether that means finding places to donate money, to do some work, to elect the officials that have the same views as you, and so on.

0:35.6

But if you're doing nothing but worrying, worrying is a waste of time.

0:40.1

You know, that I have a few one-liners about worrying. The first one is, you should ask yourself,

0:47.7

which is not the case here, is it a tragedy or an inconvenience? Now, you're talking about

0:52.8

potential tragedies, but most of the things

0:55.2

we worry about are just inconveniences. Right. And most of the things we worry about never

1:01.6

happen. And if you reflect on the last time you worried and how you dealt with and you saw it didn't

1:06.8

even happen, you'd be more persuaded of that. The way to deal with stress, I think, is

1:12.5

stress relies on two things. It relies on an assumption that something is going to happen,

1:20.3

and that when it happens, it's going to be awful. Well, the first, you can't predict. And this is

1:26.7

very hard for people to accept that predictability is an illusion.

1:31.0

You can post it.

1:33.3

You can look back.

1:35.1

You know, let me make this, use an example.

1:37.6

Let's say you're at a party and we see Tom and Susie fighting.

1:41.6

And I said to you, if they're going to get divorced?

1:43.9

You say, kind of why I know, right?

1:45.5

Sometimes people fight. Well, let's say we don't have that conversation. So you see Tom and

1:50.3

Susie fighting. Two weeks later, you're told, you know, Tom and Susie are getting a divorce.

...

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