If You Could TIME TRAVEL, What Would You Write on a Cave Wall to Mess With Everyone?

Am I the Genius?

amithejerk.com

Education, Self-improvement

4.6 • 766 Ratings

🗓️ 17 January 2026

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Transcript

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0:00.0	If you could time travel, what would you write on a cave wall to mess with everyone?
0:05.0	Test post, please ignore.
0:08.0	Turns out time travel only works once per timeline. Sorry, guys.
0:13.0	This planet shall be our second home.
0:16.0	Either, no, I didn't time travel, or we found out we can only go forward in time.
0:23.2	Hi devs, I found a bug within our simulation. I was somehow transported back 100K years without any of my items, but I still have my abilities.
0:30.7	If I could be transported back by tomorrow, that would be great. Thank you. I'm an archaeologist, and I can safely say, no, it's not a ritual.
0:39.3	Scrawled on the wall will mess with us forever.
0:42.3	I would definitely put footprints on the ceiling.
0:46.3	Hey, remember me, Michael? Remember telling me that my time machine would never actually work?
0:51.3	Guess what? F you and your rules of space time.
0:56.1	Aliens, with a crude portrait of Georgio Sucalos.
1:00.8	Do not the cat.
1:03.8	Kilroy was here.
1:06.1	They have taken the bridge and the second hall.
1:09.2	We've barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground
1:12.4	shakes, drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. The shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out.
1:21.2	They are coming. God bless you for writing that nameless nerd from the internet. But every archaeologist I've met has been a massive nerd as well, so I'm not sure they'd be freaked out as much as delighted.
1:33.8	Pictures of dinosaurs and humans interacting, pyramids working as spaceships, accurate renditions of deep-sea animals.
1:40.8	But to F with people the most, draw a world map to the best of my memory. I play Europa
1:45.7	Universalis 4 a crap ton, so no problem getting the rough continents, right? It'll still be
1:50.6	loads better than world maps for another 99,500 years. And then I'll mark one random place in
	...

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