'If I panic I die'

Life Changing

BBC

Personal Journals, Society & Culture

4.6 • 735 Ratings

🗓️ 17 May 2023

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

One Monday morning, Stephen is meeting with his boss in a crowded coffee shop. Minutes later he is at the centre of a horrific and brutal crime scene — his life hanging in the balance. The events leave him deeply scarred, both mentally and physically, but it prompts Stephen to press the reset button for himself and his family.

For the first time publicly, Stephen tells his story to Dr Sian Williams, in the hope that sharing his experience will help him and others too.

Warning: This episode contains graphic descriptions of violence. Details of help and support are available through the BBC Action Line at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're about to listen to a BBC podcast, but this is about something else you might enjoy.
0:05.4	My name's Katie Lecky and I'm an assistant commissioner for on demand music on BBC Sounds.
0:10.8	The BBC has an incredible musical heritage and culture and as a music lover, I love being part of that.
0:17.5	With music on sounds, we offer collections and mixes for everything, from workouts to
0:22.4	helping you nod off, boogie in your kitchen, or even just a moment of calm. And they're all put
0:28.3	together by people who know their stuff. So if you want some expertly curated music in your life,
0:35.0	check out BBC Sounds.
0:41.3	BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts.
0:47.5	Hello and welcome to the series where extraordinary people share moments in their lives which have transformed everything. For today's guest, it happened in a split second in the most
0:53.5	innocuous of places. He'd been
0:55.7	invited by his boss to a coffee shop for a chat. Within seconds, he was at the centre of a horrific
1:02.1	and brutal crime scene. His story has not been told in public before, but he wanted to share
1:09.0	it with us. We're protecting him and his family by avoiding his real name.
1:13.5	So let's say hello to our guest.
1:15.4	We're calling him Stephen.
1:16.8	Hi, Stephen.
1:17.8	Hi, Sean.
1:18.4	Hi.
1:19.4	Now, your experience is not an easy one to talk about, especially on national radios.
1:24.2	So first, why did you want to talk about it?
1:29.8	There's two reasons for wanting to talk about it. Number one is purely for my own well-being. I find it quite therapeutic to
1:37.0	not hide things away as to talk about it and to deal with things head on. And the second reason
	...

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