Idols of Motherhood Elyse Fitzpatrick Ep 219
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
4.9 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 1 October 2018
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We’ve all been there. Your kid throws a fit in public and you feel the sting of embarrassment and the subtle lie that you aren’t a good enough mom. You fear what others will say and feel like the entire day is ruined in this one encounter.
My guest Elyse Fitzpatrick has lived in this place of fear and presents another way to view your worth as a mother — resting in the righteousness of Jesus. She shares about the very common and subversive idols of motherhood to slip in when we try to control our children’s performance.
But see that’s absolutely soul destroying because you either end up in fear and despair or pride and despair. That’s where you always end up when you’re living for your own righteousness. So in the days that I can lay down and in bed at night and say, ‘Yeah nailed it,’ then I am in pride.
If you’ve struggled to feel “OK” in your own power or have found your personal joy tethered to your kids’ behavior, this episode is for you. Elyse gives us the simple reminder that we have the power through Jesus to topple the idols in our life.
I began to understand this is really idolatry and I’m driving my kids insane trying to prove that I’m really an OK person. That I’m OK when they’re good and I’m a complete train wreck and bad and a loser when they’re not. But, when Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, then idols lose their power to entice us.
What we chat about:
- Elyse’s blended family structure and her son’s adoption
- The balance of the disciplinarian and the more fun parent
- Insecurity about our own faith and the lie of trying to control our kids
- The danger of looking for identity in the way our kids behave
- Looking for the places in our lives where we feel afraid, angry or worried as a barometer for where we aren’t believing God
- Identifying idols in our lives and what they can look like
- How our children make us look or feel in front of others can bring up anger in us
- Elyse’s relationship with her mother and the background of her perceived need for control
- When Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, our idols lose their power
- Not letting our joy be tethered to our kids’ behavior, or even our behavior
- Our self-centered struggle to feel “OK” in our own power
- How living for our own self righteousness leads to a soul destroying cycle of pride and despair
- Resting in the righteousness of Christ and remembering we are forgiven
- Front Porch with the Fitzes Podcast
- Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick **
- The Expulsive Power of a New Affection by Thomas Chalmers**
- No Other Gods Bible Study Book by Kelly Minter**
**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey y'all, welcome to the Don't Mom Alone podcast. I'm your host, Heather McFadian, and I'm |
| 0:11.3 | here to connect you with people and resources to remind you you're not alone. |
| 0:16.5 | In this episode, number 219, I am chatting with an author who influenced me when I was |
| 0:21.6 | a young mom, continues to speak wisdom today, at least it's Patrick. |
| 0:26.8 | Is it a good thing to want your kids to love Christ? Well, of course it is. Of course it's |
| 0:34.7 | a good thing to want your kids to love Christ. Of course it's a good thing to want your kids |
| 0:39.8 | to not have the kind of debauched history that I've got. But see that motivation gets |
| 0:49.0 | all mixed up in all of these other motivations, which is my only identity comes out of how |
| 0:57.6 | well my kids perform. And when that happens, then I'm going to, you know, first of all, I |
| 1:06.6 | will be at the mercy of their behavior, which is never a good place to be. |
| 1:13.2 | Yeah, I feel that one. At least completely describes where I have spent most of my motherhood. |
| 1:19.4 | Finding my identity on how my kids behave and beating myself up if they are bad and feeling |
| 1:26.2 | really great about myself, if they're good. This conversation, y'all, it's going to rock your |
| 1:30.9 | world. First of all, with the first half of it, we're answering your questions from Instagram |
| 1:34.8 | that you posted for the live event. Well, a few of them we answer like blended family questions, |
| 1:40.5 | questions about helping foster long-term sibling relationships. What if you and your husband |
| 1:45.9 | parent differently? And then we get into some great stuff on the idols of motherhood and where we |
| 1:52.0 | find our true identity. So good. If you don't know what I mean by idols, do not worry, we will talk |
| 1:57.3 | about that in this episode. But if you're someone whose finding situations are bringing up a lot of fear |
| 2:02.3 | and anger and dismay and you didn't know was there, I would highly suggest checking out this event, |
| 2:08.0 | Elise is doing. Go to donomamalone.com forward slash idols and you'll find more information about the |
| 2:14.0 | Vertical Women's Conference where Elise will be talking about idols of the heart. And thanks to the hub, |
... |
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