You're listening to the Impact Theory podcast, your source of empowering ideas and actionable techniques from the world's highest achievers.

Join host Tom Bill You, serial entrepreneur and co-founder of the billion-dollar brand Quest Nutrition, on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success.

Welcome to Impact Theory. Hello, hello, live from our

vacation here. We are in French Polynesia, which is amazing. And what we wanted to talk about

rules of engagement, but being on vacation and just spending

a massive amount of time, trying to coordinate two different people, what they want to do,

we realize that we fall right into rhythm with all of our rules of engagement.

So we wanted to start with that.

I'm actually trying a new technique, I guess. So we have, so we have this technique that we use is called

selfish desire. And I cannot tell you how powerful, by the way, Alex Springer, impact sub,

welcome to the feed. It's all about those impact subs. That's huge for us. So selfish desire is a way that I, we're both pleasers,

we want to make the other person happy. We come from families of pleasers. So what we found was

whenever we were trying to do something, we would inevitably get stuck in the, what do you want

to do? I don't know, what do you want to do? Ed, you drove me nuts.

Or you think you're doing something for somebody else like, oh, he wants to do this, and then you realize he actually doesn't really want to. And you thought you were doing something so cool and they were trying to please use. They don't say that they don't want to do it. So it becomes a nightmare. What is up? Tatiana in the house, good to see you again. So that is, that has served us insanely well.

Again, it's called selfish desire. And you literally have an agreement that everyone is going to

say their selfish desire. So what do you want to do? What do I want to do? And then it doesn't

mean that you're going to do either person's selfish desire. But then at least you know what people actually want to do. And the key is you can't take offense to some what that person's selfish desire is. So if it's something that is completely alone, like I don't want to be with you, I want to go, which is yours, I want to read, right, which is very isolated. It's, you know, completely without me,

but I don't take offense to it. You can sit with me if you want. Oh, that's very kind of. I would even read out loud to you if you were into it. Would you really? Yeah. Like, if that meant we could share the book and you weren't going to whinge out on me, like, one of minutes in, yeah. And then I'm like stuck because I can't read the book because you're like, oh, well, wait for me.

So to give you guys an idea, I've almost finished, I don't know, it's got to be deep 300, 300, 380 pages or something like that. And I'm probably in the last 10 pages. And you've read, have you finished the first page of your book yet? I think I might finish the first page. Wow. All right. So you're crushing it. So our selfish desires was you wanted to read. Like that's his thing. Like on vacation, it's my time to read. I really want to like dive in. So how many books did you buy? Probably about 12? 12 books, guys. 12 books. Not thinking that I was going to finish them, I know that, but to pick.

Right. 12 books, guys, 12 books. Now, not thinking that I was going to finish them, I know that, but to pick.

Right. So I normally read, like, say, one and a half books. I'm way over that pace now, which is amazing and don't feel like I've allocated a lot more time to it, which is fascinating. I need to think about how that's worked out. But I need to like read the first like few pages of many books to figure out like which one's really going to have that vibe.

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