meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Fitzdog Radio

Ian Edwards - Episode 986

Fitzdog Radio

Greg Fitzsimmons

Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.74.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 January 2023

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My brother Ian Edwards and I talk about the amazing wrap parties at Cedric the Entertainer’s show, Pele vs Messe and a fistfight that broke out while he was onstage on NY.

Follow Ian Edwards on Instagram @ianedwardscomic

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Happy New Year, everybody! Happy New Year! Happy 2023! Welcome to a brand new year! A chance for redemption, for renewal, for improvement.

0:24.0

And let's just hope that all of us can be a little bit kinder this year. And let's hope that we can all be a little more giving this year, a little more forgiving this year.

0:45.0

Let's hope that we can reach out to each other in a more meaningful way. And that we can have kidding! I'm kidding! We're not going to change! We're going to be the same as last year!

1:00.0

Which was the same as the year before that? And the year before that. We were fine. You're fine! Whatever your resolution is, write it down and light it on fire because you ain't sticking to it. And you don't need to!

1:19.0

Did you live last year? Did you eat enough? Did you sleep indoors? Check! Proceed to 2023 with reckless abandon. It's just a big illusion that we're going to...

1:36.0

And I love when people put out the resolution, not just for themselves, but to everybody. Let's all, when they say, let's enjoy... They want to enjoy everybody. Let us... Let us be better!

1:51.0

And then somehow there's going to be a seismic shift in the culture, and that there will be less racism and there will be less intolerance. It's not going to change!

2:07.0

I'm not saying being... I don't think I'm being... What's the word? Cynical. I don't think I'm being cynical. I think I'm just actually in the opposite way.

2:24.0

Just self-acceptance should be the key. That's where your only resolution is that you will accept yourself. Am I saying I can't be a better person? Of course I could be a better person. Will I be better? Nope. I won't. I've tried.

2:43.0

And, you know, look, over the course of my life I've made some changes that have been good. I quit drinking on New Year's Day 1990. So it's been 33 years since I quit drinking. That's pretty amazing. Isn't that amazing except for one night I drank.

3:04.0

The night of Kevin Meney's funeral I drank. Not a lot, but I had a couple shots alone in my sister's house in the guest room. Other than that I haven't drank in 33 years.

3:17.0

And, you know, whenever I'm going to therapy, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just acceptance and presence. That's all it is. But you know what I do want to do this year? And that I haven't done enough of is I want to fight crime more.

3:38.0

Because I look back and I really kick myself that I have not fought crime at the level that I could. Because I'm not afraid. And I can be violent. And I think that if I was just a little bit more vigilant at night, maybe take maybe what I'll do is I'll take walks at night.

4:00.0

And I'll look for suspicious people not based on race. No, sir, it will be based on just the actual law being broken. Maybe there's a guy under a Toyota Prius. He's stealing the he's stealing the what's that thing that they steal the catalytic converter. And I grabbed that motherfucker by the ankles and I pull him out. Now I got a bat. Somebody gave me a bat once the owner of Cleveland.

4:27.0

Hello, he's comedy club gave me a bat and scribe with my name on it. I'm going to walk around the neighborhood like walk tall. Is that the name of that movie walk hard, whatever it was. And I'm going to beat up bad people. And I'm going to I'm going to look for rapists.

4:46.0

Because that to me is really a heinous crime. So what I need to do is check. Check in women's windows and look in and see if they're being raped. And if in fact they are I go in with that bat and I go to fucking town. I get busy with a motherfucker.

5:06.0

But I got a look how else am I going to know how else can I fight crime without looking in the windows of women in the neighborhood. And that might involve climbing some trees or telephoto lenses and such.

5:23.0

But if you see me out there, that's what I'm doing. I'm fighting crime. You know, I really when you think about these stand your ground type people.

5:34.0

I guess a lot of them a lot of people that carry guns really do think that they are deputized to make the world a better place. And that makes me warm to them. It makes me understand that they're not bad people.

5:50.0

They just don't understand that you can't just carry a gun and think you're going to be affecting positive change in the world because a gun is more likely to go off not in your favor.

6:07.0

That's my understanding. Again, this is not an anti gun rant. But if you carry one thinking that you're going to be some kind of a vigilante, you're probably going to get shot by your own gun or shoot one of your kids or some shit.

6:22.0

So just let's all just get through this year listening to podcasts and going to my standup shows. That's all you need to focus on this year. I had that want to shout out. I have very nice message. People send me emails to fitstogradioaGmail.com. And I absolutely love them. And I read all of them. I reply to all of them.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Greg Fitzsimmons, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Greg Fitzsimmons and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.