I Was the Fun Dad. It Almost Destroyed My Marriage.

Modern Love

The New York Times

Storytelling, Nytimes, Nyt, Redemption, New York Times, Society & Culture, Loss, Essay, Love

4.3 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 January 2026

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When Jordan Carlos looks back on the role he was playing in his family a few years ago, he does not like what he sees. He was bringing home a good salary as a comedian, but doing only the bare minimum as a husband and a dad. When Jordan did show up at home, he was more likely to take the kids out for an all-day candy binge than to take them to the dentist or to tuck them in by bedtime. But Jordan got a painful wake-up call when the pandemic hit and his work came to a halt. Home all the time, Jordan looked around and noticed that nobody seemed to need, or expect, any help from him. And his marriage was in serious trouble. This week on “Modern Love,” Jordan explains how he let things get so bad in the first place, and how day by day, chore by chore, he started to take responsibility for all the little things that actually mean a lot. Jordan’s book, “Choreplay: The Marriage-Saving Magic of Getting Your Head Out of Your Ass,” comes out Feb. 10. Listener Callout: “Modern Love” wants to hear from you. What’s the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you? What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever witnessed? If something made you feel that rush of romance, send us a voice memo by Feb. 4, and we may use it on the show. Check out our submission page to learn more: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/07/podcasts/tell-us-whats-the-most-romantic-thing-youve-ever-seen.html

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, it's Anna. Before we start the show, I'm back for the last time to ask for your
0:05.7	stories about romantic gestures for this year's Valentine's Day episode. We want to know
0:11.3	the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you, that you've ever experienced, that you've
0:15.7	ever seen or witnessed, whether it's a big rom-com style gesture or something small and private and sweet, we want to hear about it.
0:24.4	We've heard from so many of you so far, and we can't wait to hear more.
0:28.6	But I will just say, we've gotten a lot of submissions from women.
0:33.3	Love you girls, thank you.
0:34.7	But we want to hear from everyone else, too.
0:36.8	So men, non-binary folks, people who aren't women, were especially excited to hear from you.
0:43.0	Whatever made you feel that rush of romance from the big moments to the tiny ones, we want to hear about it.
0:47.9	And we want to know why it was so romantic to you.
0:50.9	If you have a story in mind, record a voice memo and email it to us at Modern Love Podcast at
0:56.7	NYTimes.com by February 4th, and we may use your story on the show. That's Modern Love Podcast at
1:03.9	NYTimes.com. And once again, your deadline is approaching. It's February 4th. All right, thanks,
1:10.7	everyone. We can't wait to hear from you.
1:14.4	Love now and...
1:15.9	Love was stronger than anything.
1:19.9	And I love you more than anything.
1:23.1	There's to love. Love.
1:29.2	From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.
1:30.4	This is Modern Love.
1:35.8	Today, I'm talking to a comedian who found himself in a very unfunny situation.
	...

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