I Was a Cop — This Is What Broke Me | Kevin Donaldson

Locked In with Ian Bick

Ian Bick

Society & Culture

4.8 • 743 Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2026

⏱️ 144 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kevin Donaldson, a retired New Jersey police officer, opens up about his traumatic upbringing, what drew him to law enforcement, and the career-defining call that ultimately broke him after responding to a domestic shooting incident — a moment that changed his life and led to his retirement in 2014. Kevin shares raw stories from the job that taught him about danger, mental strain, and resilience while battling post-traumatic stress, and he reveals how he turned his pain into purpose by becoming a mental health advocate, author, and motivational speaker dedicated to destigmatizing trauma and helping others find strength through struggle. _____________________________________________ #TrueCrime #LawEnforcement #PoliceStories #RealStories #JusticeSystem #BehindTheBadge #YouTubePodcast #crimedocumentary _____________________________________________ Thank you to FACTOR & PRIZEPICKS for sponsoring this episode: FACTOR: Head to https://factormeals.com/lockedin50off and use code lockedin50off to get 50% off your first Factor box PLUS free breakfast for 1 year. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with Factor. PRIZEPICKS: Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/IANBICK and use code IANBICK and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! _____________________________________________ Connect with Kevin Doladson: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realkevindonaldson/?hl=en Website: https://www.realkevindonaldson.com/ Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Shop Locked In Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop _____________________________________________ Timestamps: 00:00 Policing Reality Check & Life on the Job 03:00 Kevin Donaldson’s Background & Why He Became a Cop 10:00 Growing Up in South Jersey & Early Struggles 16:00 Childhood Trauma, Turbulent Home Life & Lasting Impact 23:00 Breaking Family Ties & Destructive Coping Mechanisms 29:00 At a Crossroads: Trouble, College & Reinventing Himself 40:00 Early Adulthood: Teaching, Uncertainty & Searching for Purpose 47:00 Finding Structure and Identity Through Policing 53:00 Experiencing 9/11 as a Police Officer 56:00 Police Work Explained: The Good, the Bad & the Surreal 01:02:00 The Emotional Toll of Policing & Suppressed Trauma 01:09:00 The Officer-Involved Shooting That Changed Everything 01:17:00 Panic Attacks, Mental Health Collapse & Burnout 01:24:00 Losing His Identity & Hitting Rock Bottom 01:31:00 Therapy, Group Support & the Long Road to Healing 01:38:00 Life After Policing: Finding Purpose in Helping Others 01:45:00 Losing a Friend, Regret & Hard-Learned Lessons 01:55:00 Rebuilding Life & Transforming Trauma Into Growth 02:02:00 Healing, Justice Reform & Advocacy Work 02:12:00 Hope, Reflection & Final Takeaways Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Listen up.
0:01.0	Huh? That means you.
0:02.0	Yes, you. We know you're pointing at yourself. When it comes to Paddy Power Games, we've got a place made for all sorts. From the experts to the Drama Queens. It's me, the JC. The finance bros. Look at those stocks, lads. We'll stick with slots. It's what we're good at. And not forgetting you. Yes, you, the one listening.
0:21.5	Because at Paddy Power Games, we've got all sorts of games for all sorts of treacles.
0:26.1	Eligibility rules in terms and conditions apply.
0:27.8	Please gamble responsibly.
0:28.8	8 plus gambolawair.org.
0:31.1	300 years of expertise in every twining sleep blend.
0:37.0	100 hours of craft in every cup.
0:40.3	Eight natural ingredients in every sip.
0:44.3	One night of winding down in every drop.
0:48.3	Your moment of serenity.
0:51.3	Brought to you by twining sleep. twinings, alive in every drop.
1:00.0	A police officer will see upward, in a 20-year career, we'll see upwards between six and
1:05.0	800 critical incidents. Pretty much what an average citizen would consider the worst day of their
1:10.0	life. What do you think that moment was in your childhood that caused you to not go down the path that would lead to say prison
1:16.0	we had a we had a two-year-old who got locked in a toy box suffocated and died playing hide and go seek
1:21.3	with his grandmother i clear from that call write my report clear from that call medics take them
1:45.2	and then i have to go to some break inin. Car got broken into. I just saw a kid that was like turquoise. And now I have to go and do my job. And when I show up, I got this woman screaming and yelling at me. How come you took so long? Do you remember that first time you experienced that steal-your-soul moment? The day my soul broke from police work was... In this episode, retired New Jersey cop Kevin Donaldson walks through his life
1:51.4	from the beginning, a traumatic upbringing, why he chose law enforcement, and the realities of the job
1:57.5	that most people never see. He shares powerful stories from the street, the call that
2:02.1	ultimately broke him and ended his career, and how he fought his way back by turning trauma into
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Ian Bick, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Ian Bick and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.