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Basketball Illuminati

I Want To Believe

Basketball Illuminati

Count The Dings

Basketball, Sports, Comedy

4.91.5K Ratings

🗓️ 25 February 2026

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes want you to burn some calories when parsing breaking news stories for truth, instead of simply wanting it to be true. This season may strike the death knell for the 65 game rule, as we could have an MVP by default and entirely new All NBA Teams with major cap ramifications. Truth Teller Jared Weiss of The Athletic returns as our official Wemby correspondent right when the Spurs are the hottest team in the league. Jared sizes up Mitch Johnson's Coach of the Year chances, shares Joe Mazzulla stories and embraces ethical basketball. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to the Illuminati YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Count The Dings Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/countthedings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Check it out here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Basketball Illuminati! On⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠basketballilluminati@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@bballilluminati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@basketballilluminati⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm Richard Serrett. Join me on Strange Planet for in-depth conversations with the world's top paranormal investigators, alien abductees, bigfoot trackers, monster hunters, time travelers, and more.

0:11.1

The handler one day told her this whole thing about how they've been terraforming on Mars, and they're building a colony,

0:16.7

and they're recruiting specific people of specific bloodlines and specific talents and skill sets to go onto the planet.

0:23.0

On Richard Serrett's Strange Planet, we're redefining reality. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

0:35.1

The comments made by Minel Heston are made by him and him himself and nobody else and not indicative of basketball,

0:40.8

Luminati, Tom Habistro, Anthony Mays, or any guest incorporated.

0:45.6

I'm glad we do this show because it's becoming harder and harder to be an NBA fan and not know what's real and what's fake.

0:53.3

Not hard.

1:12.4

Not hard? It's not hard. People just need to burn one calorie. I don't know, I mean. I mean, two million people didn't burn a calorie. I don't even know what you're about to say. I'm just finishing the sentence, funny statement. Two million people did not burn one calorie. We have a lot of examples here about how the faken the NBA and you always have to keep your third eye open on the NBA news.

1:16.5

One in particular is, is it Adam Morrison?

1:19.5

I know it's not Adam Morrison NBA,

1:21.4

but there's a Twitter account that had a graphic with Scott Foster on it,

1:26.4

I mean, and the actual copy, the text in that

1:31.5

graphic was breaking. The NBA is investigating head referee Scott Foster following the

1:37.2

Lakers game against the Celtics. Multiple goaltending calls were missed throughout the game.

1:42.3

Foster will be suspended without pay as the league investigates. We'll say this. The goaltending thing was kind of funny to me. I laughed. Multiple goaltending calls, that's the most random. If there was a tell that this was wrong, that this was a fake, I feel like the goaltending line was the thing. How often are goaltending calls? I don't know, Tom.

2:01.5

I think the part that's fake is them suspending Scott Foster. Could be. I admire you guys. You guys are going third eye open. Open your third eye. Oh, what are the telltale signs? Oh, that's an odd thing to be suspended. Oh, what's the last referee who got suspended for missing calls on a yes that is a level of discernment

2:20.6

third eye discernment that is effective unfortunately it involves burning far more than one calorie

2:27.3

yeah you know the one calorie to burn click on his name click on the motherfucker's bio. Jake Morrison.

2:34.6

Tom, breaking news.

2:36.6

Jake Morrison, NBA, is back with the new report.

2:39.8

Chet Holmgren has come out as gay.

...

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