“I Think My Husband Is Gaslighting Me”
Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG
Anne Blythe, M.Ed.
4.6 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 19 December 2023
⏱️ 23 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Part 1: "I Think My Husband is Gaslighting Me" (this episode)
Part 2: Everything You Need to Know About Gaslighting
"I think my husband is gaslighting me; am I crazy?"
If you've asked yourself this question, you're in the right place.
Dr. Robin Stern, co-founder and director for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, is on The BTR.ORG Podcast. An expert on gaslighting, Dr. Stern is detailing the three types of gaslighters and the tactics they use to make YOU feel crazy.
Are you ready for the information and validation you need and deserve?
The Glamorous Gaslighter
"He brings glamour into your life, buys you gifts, showers you with love and affection, tells you you're amazing, makes you feel like the most special person in the world and that the two of you are soulmates. You have something that is so special. Then after he has been missing for a couple of days, or after he won't answer your questions or has lied to you, and you're feeling confused and crazy and complaining about that, he will come in and shower you with everything I just said. You're so amazing. Don't you know how much I love you?"
- Dr. Robin Stern
Anne shares that the glamorous gaslighter grooms victims by using manipulative kindness - a tactic that lures victims into believing they're loved and safe.
The Good Guy Gaslighter
"He's someone who people really like. He's very accommodating - even in the way he approaches you and talks through things. It's hard to spot the good guy gaslighter because often you end up getting what you want on the surface."
- Dr. Robin Stern
The good guy gaslighter uses covert abuse to condition everyone, including the victim, into believing that the victim is the problem, rather than his deceit and manipulation.
The Intimidator Gaslighter
"Somebody who's a bully, somebody who uses verbal abuse, somebody who might be on the threshold of using physical violence."
- Dr. Robin Stern
The intimidator gaslighter may seem easier to identify - however, Dr. Stern shares an example of an intimidator gaslighter turning tables on a victim so covertly that Dr. Stern's team had difficulty identifying the gaslighting in a scenario where the abuser had used physical violence against the victim.
BTR.ORG Is Here For You
Gaslighting is notoriously difficult to identify and seek safety from. BTR.ORG is here for you. Consider attending a BTR.ORG Group Session today as you begin your journey to safety.
Full Transcript:
Anne (00:01):
Welcome to BTR.org. This is Anne. I am delighted to have Dr. Robin Stern on today's episode. She is the co-founder and associate director for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a senior consultant at the Yale New Haven Hospital.
(01:40):
She is a licensed psychoanalyst with 30 years of experience treating individuals, couples and families. She's the author of The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life and The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide: Your Personal Journey Toward Healing from Emotional Abuse. Dr. Stern has been a guest on many local and national radio shows and has traveled widely to lecture on emotional intelligence, women in leadership, and relational bullying. Welcome, Dr. Stern.
Dr. Robin Stern (02:12):
Thank you so much, Anne. Thank you so much for having me on this show and for doing this work to help women. I'm delighted.
What is Gaslighting?
Anne (02:21):
Let's start with the definition of gaslighting since you're the gaslighting expert.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to BTR.org. This is Anne. No matter what you're going through right now. No matter if you thought things were under control, no matter if you hoped things would get better, if you realize you're back to square one. |
| 0:14.8 | If you find yourself needing support, we're here. |
| 0:19.3 | If you're new to the BTR Podcast, consider starting with the oldest episodes first and then work your way |
| 0:24.7 | forward chronologically. |
| 0:26.4 | If you do that, you'll hear a change in my voice as I grow in my confidence and skills. |
| 0:31.9 | If you're like the majority of our listeners, you're experiencing the type of abuse |
| 0:36.0 | that's invisible and difficult to wrap your head around. Your husband is using porn or having |
| 0:40.7 | affairs or lying to you or all of the above and no one understands how to |
| 0:45.2 | actually help you. We do. If you're wondering where to start, go to BTR.org |
| 0:51.9 | slash steps to see your next three steps. |
| 0:56.0 | BTR coaches are not only professionally trained in trauma and abuse, |
| 1:00.0 | we've lived through it ourselves. We get it. |
| 1:03.0 | With BTR group sessions, you have access to at least 21 sessions a week to choose from. |
| 1:09.0 | Our group sessions are for women victims of emotional and psychological abuse |
| 1:13.5 | and sexual coercion. |
| 1:15.1 | You can access our daily group sessions from your closet, |
| 1:17.9 | from a parked car in your garage. |
| 1:20.3 | Check out the session schedule at BTR.org. |
| 1:23.0 | We'd love to see you in a group session today. |
| 1:25.0 | I am delighted to have Dr Robin Stern on today's episode. |
| 1:31.0 | She is the co-founder and associate director for the Yale |
| 1:34.1 | Center for Emotional Intelligence and a senior consultant at the Yale New Haven |
... |
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