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Adulting with Michelle Buteau and Jordan Carlos

I Really Hate to Swallow—Do I Have to? feat. Langston Kerman

Adulting with Michelle Buteau and Jordan Carlos

Exactly Right and iHeartPodcasts

Kids & Family, Comedy

4.83.3K Ratings

🗓️ 14 December 2022

⏱️ 51 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, Michelle and Jordan catch up with comedian and actor, Langston Kerman aka "Beige Rage." Michelle explains why to be a parent is to lead a double life, Jordan shares the secret to his parents’ long marriage, and Langston recounts how a TV pilot he once shot with Michelle in Vancouver didn’t quite pan out, but why the memories of seafood towers they inhaled together will last forever.

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is exactly right. This, my goodness. What's up, everybody. Welcome to Adulting. This is Jordan

0:33.6

Carlos, and I am Michelle Buto. and you know what the fuck it is.

0:37.5

I don't know if this is your first episode but hopefully it's not your motherfucking last.

0:41.2

Sorry I'm saying motherfucking so much but it is what it is motherfucker.

0:46.8

Wow. Coming in hot.

0:49.0

Coming in really hot. You know what? I realize people cuss less when they have kids but for me like I don't want to cuss in front of them all the time because let's fucking be honest. But when they're at school, I'm like Andrew Dice Clay, bitch. Like, I have to get it out. Smoking cigarettes on the other side of your head like this. Little Miss Muffet. Oh, yeah. That's like how I'm living my life.

1:12.1

Because, you know, I like purposely put on gangster rap when I go pick him up because I have, I go to sleep with Moana stuck in my head.

1:24.0

Wait a minute.

1:24.7

I'm like, oh way, oh way.

1:27.1

Like, it is not okay. Cocoa Mellon, Encanto, Luca, um, Paul Patrol, PJ, Masts. Wait. Like, what? Okay, I'm trying to picture this. I have children's, I'm, I have children's music stuck in my head and nobody tells you this shit about parenting.

1:47.8

Like raising a kid, sure, trying to have them not be an asshole.

1:51.3

Okay.

1:52.2

But the terrible children's music in your mind, like how does Lynn Manuel Miranda ever sleep?

1:59.6

Like, does he?

2:00.8

Can we check in on him?

2:02.2

Is he okay?

2:03.3

No, he's out there rhyming and freestyling in his own little way.

2:07.4

I did.

2:07.6

His theater nerd reps.

2:09.9

But I feel like I'm imagining you pulling up in your minivan to pop smoke.

2:16.7

Just like bump and pop smoke in the back of the car. I'm not going to lie. Drill. It's a lot of Tupac. It's a lot of biggie when I roll up to the daycare. Wow. It was all a dream. Yeah. Yeah. Is that you? Yeah. I roll up. I'm like kicking the door, waving the fo' bowl.

2:35.2

Hi.

...

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