I Really Hate to Swallow—Do I Have to? feat. Langston Kerman
Adulting with Michelle Buteau and Jordan Carlos
Exactly Right and iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 3.3K Ratings
🗓️ 14 December 2022
⏱️ 51 minutes
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Summary
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is exactly right. This, my goodness. What's up, everybody. Welcome to Adulting. This is Jordan |
| 0:33.6 | Carlos, and I am Michelle Buto. and you know what the fuck it is. |
| 0:37.5 | I don't know if this is your first episode but hopefully it's not your motherfucking last. |
| 0:41.2 | Sorry I'm saying motherfucking so much but it is what it is motherfucker. |
| 0:46.8 | Wow. Coming in hot. |
| 0:49.0 | Coming in really hot. You know what? I realize people cuss less when they have kids but for me like I don't want to cuss in front of them all the time because let's fucking be honest. But when they're at school, I'm like Andrew Dice Clay, bitch. Like, I have to get it out. Smoking cigarettes on the other side of your head like this. Little Miss Muffet. Oh, yeah. That's like how I'm living my life. |
| 1:12.1 | Because, you know, I like purposely put on gangster rap when I go pick him up because I have, I go to sleep with Moana stuck in my head. |
| 1:24.0 | Wait a minute. |
| 1:24.7 | I'm like, oh way, oh way. |
| 1:27.1 | Like, it is not okay. Cocoa Mellon, Encanto, Luca, um, Paul Patrol, PJ, Masts. Wait. Like, what? Okay, I'm trying to picture this. I have children's, I'm, I have children's music stuck in my head and nobody tells you this shit about parenting. |
| 1:47.8 | Like raising a kid, sure, trying to have them not be an asshole. |
| 1:51.3 | Okay. |
| 1:52.2 | But the terrible children's music in your mind, like how does Lynn Manuel Miranda ever sleep? |
| 1:59.6 | Like, does he? |
| 2:00.8 | Can we check in on him? |
| 2:02.2 | Is he okay? |
| 2:03.3 | No, he's out there rhyming and freestyling in his own little way. |
| 2:07.4 | I did. |
| 2:07.6 | His theater nerd reps. |
| 2:09.9 | But I feel like I'm imagining you pulling up in your minivan to pop smoke. |
| 2:16.7 | Just like bump and pop smoke in the back of the car. I'm not going to lie. Drill. It's a lot of Tupac. It's a lot of biggie when I roll up to the daycare. Wow. It was all a dream. Yeah. Yeah. Is that you? Yeah. I roll up. I'm like kicking the door, waving the fo' bowl. |
| 2:35.2 | Hi. |
... |
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