“I’m Not Doing Enough” + The “Should List”: Overcoming Shame and Guilt in Parenting

The Intentional Parents Podcast

Intentional

Christianity, Kids & Family, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2026

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

So many parents carry an unspoken “I should…” list: “I should be more patient, more present, doing more, doing better.” In a world full of parenting advice and constant input, it’s easy to feel like we know so much and yet, still aren’t doing enough. In this episode, we talk about how that pressure often leads to shame and guilt, and why it matters to understand the difference: guilt says “I did something bad,” while shame says “I am bad.” One leads us toward repentance and growth, while the other keeps us stuck, isolated, and disconnected.

We explore how shame has been part of the human story since the beginning, and how it still shows up today in the subtle lies we believe about ourselves as parents. But instead of striving for perfection, we’re invited into dependence, trusting that God meets us in our weakness, just as He did with Moses. We also talk about practical ways to respond when shame creeps in: quieting the noise, getting honest about where our expectations come from, pursuing vulnerable relationships, and practicing repair when needed.

At the end of the day, parenting isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about walking in faith, holding onto hope, and learning to love our kids well, even in our imperfection.

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Scripture Mentioned: 2 Corinthians 7:10, Genesis 3:9-11, Hebrews 11:24-28 + Hebrews 10:23-24

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Attention mothers. We have the intentional motherhood retreat in Franklin, Tennessee in April, April 23rd, through the 25th to be exact. And if you haven't gotten tickets yet, we want to remind you, grab some tickets. We have group rates. We also have volunteer tickets. So if you're looking for a discounted ticket and want to come help a little bit, go to our website, Intentionalparents.org, get your tickets.
0:24.3	Megan Fait Marshman's going to be there, Rhettah Eskridge is going to be there, Elizabeth and Diana sharing, and other guests that you don't even know about.
0:27.4	Plus, incredible worship.
0:28.8	Can't wait to have you all there.
0:30.0	See you soon.
0:34.2	You're listening to the Intentional Parents podcast, brought to you by Intentional.
0:39.1	Intentional is all about spiritual formation in the family.
0:43.0	We desire to bring biblical hope and practical hope.
0:46.5	Enjoy this week's conversation.
0:53.8	Welcome back to the Intentional Parents podcast.
0:56.7	The should list shame and guilt in parenting.
1:00.6	We have never experienced being guilty or shameful in our parenting.
1:05.4	But some of you have, no, I'm kidding.
1:06.9	We have, we feel it all the time.
1:08.2	And we actually want to talk about that today.
1:09.4	What do we do when we feel the shame and the guilt of parenting we recently did an episode on that idea of is parenting
1:17.2	actually harder in this generation versus times before why are you looking at my hat does it look
1:22.9	wrong no looking at your hat no I'm just asking though because you said earlier it looked like a
1:27.1	a thing that I wouldn't want it to look like that people use in marital context. That was a squirrel moment. No, your hat looks just fine. It's not a squirrel moment. This is real life. And these are our friends. And I want to make sure that we are, I mean, I have to sit on screens. I hate having me on camera. That's the truth. But we want to talk about shame and guilt and parenting. And the things that honestly, many of us carry knowing so much and just feeling like we're not doing enough and feeling like are the things that we're doing actually going to matter or move the needle. And I get to talk with you about that today. I'm excited about that.
2:01.4	I'm excited about it too. Give me an update. Well, this is really fresh. I was literally laying in bed
2:07.5	at 4 o'clock this morning, 4 am, not able to sleep. And the, I'm not doing enough. I'm failing my
2:17.1	kids list started. I was like doing enough. I'm failing my kids list started.
	...

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