I'm A Liability To Team USA

Bloodline Banter

2M Media Group

Society & Culture, Comedy

5.0 • 657 Ratings

🗓️ 26 February 2026

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we solve three national crises: TSA groping, the Winter Olympics, and the bread butt. We’re headed on a cruise that we booked five days ago like responsible adults do, Riley prepares to get patted down by Homeland Security for the 47th time, and Landon’s old Tinder profile resurfaces on TikTok because apparently the internet thinks that’s fair game. Which like yeah I guess, but like also no? We also discuss why curling is just professional sweeping with Olympic-level confidence, why Norway winning the Winter Olympics feels like cheating, and why Team USA beating Canada in hockey made us want to scream Toby Keith while eating a hot dog and sitting our butts at a Nascar race in the dead heat of summer. Somewhere in the middle, we propose a constitutional amendment for a mandatory sauce-to-nugget ratio, debate whether anyone actually eats the end piece of bread, and relive growing up with grandparents who reuse sour cream containers like Tupperware doesn’t exist. Cousin Counsel returns and yes, the submissions are unwell. I don’t think we need to say anything more on that. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com If you’ve ever been personally victimized by TSA, fast food sauce stinginess, or a thermostat set to 75 degrees, this episode is dedicated to you. LETS GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/) Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter) Email - (bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@landonmauk) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@landon.mauk) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933) Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN) YouTube – (‪@TheCastCollective‬) Instagram – (https://www.instagram.com/TheCastCollective) TikTok – (https://www.tiktok.com/@castcollective)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello!
0:02.0	I don't know for!
0:03.0	Hello everybody!
0:04.0	Hello everybody, welcome back to bloodline. I'm Landon. I'm Landon. And this is Riley. And we're here for episode. What number is this? Five. That's crazy. Dang, that's crazy. It's almost been a full month of the podcast. Well, this will be the full month. Right. Anyways. Did you sleep good last night? You know, I thought I slept well. I mean, I went to bed pretty early and then I woke up around four and I went to bed at four. I went to bed at for a little while. Oh. I don't know why. Okay. I just couldn't sleep. I can already tell that I'm going to be doing. Riley had the bright idea to go to Federale's last night and have a little margarita. And then I had a martini. And then I just stayed up all night until 4 a.m. And then I went to bed and woke up this morning at 10. All right. Yeah. You're going to have to quit. Let me finish this piece. Hurry, please. He's been chomping that damn ice and chewing gum all morning i like to eat my
1:14.7	ice excuse me no and that's fine i don't really care about the ice as much as i care about the damn
1:18.7	chewing gum you know you smack i had to go get a margarita last night because yesterday was national
1:23.5	margarita day was it yeah i didn't know it until we got there and then it was like national margarita Day. Was it? Yeah. I didn't know it until we got there.
1:29.2	And then it was like National Margarita Day.
1:29.6	Woo!
1:30.8	Anyways.
1:35.7	We're going on a vacation on Saturday.
1:38.0	We leave in what?
1:38.8	Six days?
1:40.2	Saturday.
1:41.8	Whatever that is from today.
1:42.1	Yeah.
1:45.4	And we're, have you packed?
1:48.2	Landon, we're a week out.
1:49.0	No, I haven't packed.
1:52.4	I don't pack until like eight hours before we leave.
1:56.5	Riley also packs for a three-day trip, 27 outfits.
1:57.2	Yeah, I do.
	...

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