meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

I Love You and I Need To Go: Elizabeth Gilbert Takes Us On A Journey All The Way To The River

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.66.3K Ratings

🗓️ 10 September 2025

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Description: As a luminary in contemporary literature, Elizabeth Gilbert’s writing has shaped the zeitgeist through adventure, spiritual exploration, creativity, and what it means to live a life of integrity. Her work consistently resonates with a global audience, prompting introspection and inspiring personal journeys of self-discovery. In this episode, Elizabeth Gilbert delves into the intricate narratives woven within her latest book, All the Way to the River: Love, Loss, and Liberation.  Liz traces the evolving nature of her bond with Rayya Elias, illustrating how the relationship transitioned from a cherished best friend to a trusted neighbor, then blossomed into a profound creative muse, and ultimately became a romantic partner—her "person."  This deeply significant relationship unfolded against the harrowing backdrop of Rayya’s terminal pancreatic cancer diagnosis and her courageous, yet often arduous, battle with addiction.  In a conversation full of heart and unabashed vulnerability, Liz reflects on her own struggles with people-pleasing, addiction, and finding emotional and spiritual sobriety, discussing what it looks like to take accountability for one's own well-being to write a life story that ends with dignity. Thought-provoking Quotes: “If you're very lucky, you might just meet one person in your life who you can go all the way to the river with.” – Elizabeth Gilbert “There's not a jury in the world who wouldn’t have agreed that I had every right to see myself as a victim in that story but I still didn't see my role in the insanity. It took me years of grieving and anger and processing to see it.” – Elizabeth Gilbert “There is no such thing as a relationship between an incredibly healthy person and an incredibly dysfunctional person. There's an incredibly dysfunctional person and a person who is very far from themselves engaging in that relationship with that incredibly dysfunctional person.” – Elizabeth Gilbert “I’ve used people as though they are drugs, to shore up my incredibly gaping insecurity wound. So I'm going to either use someone as a sedative, somebody who makes me feel really safe, or I'm going to go find somebody to use as a speed ball of excitement and danger, somebody who's very bad for me. I would just try to find the person who could make my levels feel right.” – Elizabeth Gilbert “Like many humans, I am extremely faulty at knowing what's going to make me happy.. I anticipate that something will make me happy and it almost kills me.” – Elizabeth Gilbert Emotional sobriety, for me, is taking complete accountability for my own nervous system and not ever accusing anybody of disrupting it. A simple thing that I've learned to say is not ‘You need to stop behaving the way that you're behaving’, but ‘I love you and I need to go.’” – Elizabeth Gilbert To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Everybody, welcome to the show. Boy, oh boy. Wow. We've got a show today. We just finished it. So I'm just

0:20.0

kind of sitting here with my hands on my hips.

0:21.7

Like, we're going to get into it.

0:25.6

As you know, because you've downloaded this on your phone.

0:29.6

We've got Elizabeth Gilbert here today.

0:31.7

And it's one of the more powerful conversations I can remember having,

0:36.3

which we'll get to in just a minute.

0:39.4

I actually have a question for you that I thought about when reading this book, about your own book.

0:48.6

As an author, when you are digging through trauma and loss and your own failures and struggles,

1:04.4

what is the motivation behind revealing so much?

1:10.0

And also, how do you balance out knowing that the more you reveal,

1:17.1

the more gnarly it gets, the more successful it will be?

1:25.1

Like, it's such a strange thing.

1:29.6

It made me think there's a Ava Brothers documentary, and at the very end, they're recording

1:35.8

No Hard Feelings, which was a song that they wrestled with for years before they recorded.

1:43.7

And it's about your own death.

1:47.3

And at the end, Rick Rubin and the other guys in the room were like, home run.

1:54.0

Like, y'all knock that out of the park.

1:56.0

That's going to be a huge hit.

1:59.1

And the brothers go outside and they're like, except the elephant in the room is like,

2:04.4

we're being congratulated for our suffering and monetizing it.

2:12.0

So do you think about those things when you're in it and writing it and deciding what to reveal,

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Jen Hatmaker, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Jen Hatmaker and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.