The following podcast is a deer media production.

This episode of The Bitch Bible Podcast was brought to you by ritual vitamins.

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Salutations bitches! It is a lush, and I mean lush,

Monday afternoon. I am slow-sipping, an extra crispy, extra frothy,

barely dirty martini in honor of the one that got away, Martin Luther King Jr.

For those of you who might be like new to this podcast and don't know my romantic history

with MLK Junes, when I was in first grade, you know, we briefly touched on the civil rights

movement because like, you know, when you're that young, how do you even conceptualize, you know,

racism and segregation and all of those things? So, you know, all I needed was a pick.

And I got my first little case of, you know, the chocolate love that's been burning

near and deep in my heart for, you know, nearly 30 years. And I came home and told my parents

that I had a boyfriend and they were like, who is it Michael Wozemberg? Who sits next to you in class?

And I was like, no, his name's Martin. And naturally, my parents went into a full downward

spiral because they're like, who the fuck's Martin? There's no kidney Martin. Is it like the P.E.

teacher? Is it like, is she being like, molested? No, it was a one-sided relationship. The best

ones are. And, you know, I saw a picture of him and I fell immediately in love, went from six to

...