"I Didn’t Expect This Relationship To Break Me"
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 2 April 2026
⏱️ 59 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
After reconnecting with her high school sweetheart years later, this anonymous guest believed she had found the love that was always meant to be. But what followed was a three-year relationship filled with emotional neglect, anxious attachment, resentment, and a version of herself she barely recognized.In this unfiltered conversation, she shares how unresolved grief, abandonment wounds, and mixed signals kept her stuck and why the hardest part of the breakup wasn’t forgiving him, but forgiving herself.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I wanted to kick off today's unfiltered episode with an email from the anonymous guests that I am joined by today. |
| 0:11.1 | This email came into my inbox on August 29, 2005, at 136 a.m. And it says it's 1.30 a.m. and I'm sobbing on my bedroom floor because the guy I've |
| 0:25.5 | been with off and on for three years and I just broke up for good. And it's so hurtful. I am so |
| 0:33.3 | proud. Yeah. You said 2005. I said 2005. |
| 0:38.5 | 2025. |
| 0:39.8 | Okay. |
| 0:40.2 | We're going to roll with the punches here. |
| 0:42.2 | That'd be really weird if I got that email. |
| 0:45.5 | I don't even think I had an email address in 2005. |
| 0:51.1 | I'm really proud of you for being here today to share your story. |
| 0:59.9 | How are you feeling right now? |
| 1:03.5 | Well, right now I'm feeling like really giddy just from being able to talk to you. |
| 1:09.9 | I'm feeling really nervous to share my story. |
| 1:14.7 | I'm feeling nervous because I think I've been hyping this up for so long, and I don't want to forget anything. |
| 1:22.3 | I'm also, like, I've been really hurting for a long time. So I'm going to get really vulnerable today. |
| 1:34.4 | There's a lot to share. I've really been like not okay. And so I think it's time to share this. |
| 1:41.5 | And I thank you for doing this even while it still hurts, even while you still feel not okay, |
| 1:48.0 | because that is the most real thing that happens. And, you know, we see other people go through |
| 1:58.1 | breakups and because of social media and because no one wants to admit |
| 2:02.7 | that they're not feeling okay, it looks like people move on so quickly. And it looks like people |
| 2:08.0 | heal overnight. And I think most of us who have been through traumatic breakups, most of us who have been in a position where we thought |
| 2:21.7 | this relationship was going to be the last relationship we get into. |
... |
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