I'm on government assistance and I run out of money and I had to buy

pamphlets for gelani and I had $11.42 in the bank and I remember wrapping my

son in the towel for two days. I remember the second day like you said I had

my hand on gelani stomach and I said don't worry baby mommy will never be

this broke or broken again and that day what shifted for me was I was

willing and I don't know if this is gonna sound crazy I was willing to

completely die to any form of me that I have been so that I can birth the

woman that I was becoming the reason why a lot of people won't become who

they want is because they're too attached to who they've been and you hear it

all the time when people say I've always been this way okay well if that's

working for you keep doing that I knew it wasn't working for me any longer I

had hit my version of rock bottom so I was willing to let go of everything and

everybody see another reason why people won't get there is because the doorway is

for you to fit through you trying to carry everybody else through because you

trying to be rescue 911 and you got to rescue you first I am much more valuable

to my family and to my community because I was willing to let them go go through

the door myself teach myself learn myself condition myself and then come back

and get them a much more valuable to them now but I have to go through a

window time of 10 years of judgment you leaving us hanging out white people all

the time you go in these crazy countries we we don't know what you I had to be

willing to to allow my conviction to make me inconvenienced see we want to grow

but we want to stay liked by everybody I was willing to be my own rescue at the

...