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Using a visualization and using the sort of guided practice that we did of the ideal parent to create

a secure sense of attachment security is by no means at all new not just that it's

also been done in early Buddhism with Devonusati visual establish angelic beings.

But for centuries, people in theistic religions

have, of course, tried to establish a sense of security

by having what they call a relationship with a god.

And that's one of the reasons why, of course, in 12-step recovery, there's such that emphasis upon having a higher power or visualizing a God. In essence, God, I don't, I'm not a God believing person, but if you do, it's skillful, it's just an attachment figure.

God is an ideal attachment figure, so long as you're not visualizing a judgmental cruel

god if you visualize a god in fact if you think of the way people describe their concept of God, it's clearly a compensatory figure that is addressing unmet attachment needs from early life.

Very often people say, my God is always there, always

available, who cares about me? Well, of course, because that's what I secure

attachment is. So as a commensatory figure it's entirely an adequate

wonderful practice and you know what why I teach the ideal parent is because simply because I'm I don't

personally I grew up in a family that had lost a large amount due in the Holocaust.

So my parents were not tending to believe

that there was any benign force overlooking the universe and that was deeply instilled in me, but still I want this to be available.

This secure visualization.

So that's why I would teach the ideal parent.

Now also, some of the qualities we're trying to develop.

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