There's some mom or dad listening to this right now, and you're like, I've been in diaper stage for 10 years.

And I just want to say, I've been in diapers for 14 years, not me personally, my children have in diapers for 14 years.

What a visual.

Hi, welcome to the Family Teams podcast.

Our goal here is to help your family become a multi-generational team on mission by providing

you with biblically rooted concepts, tools, and rhythms. Your hosts are Jeremy Pryor and Jefferson

Bethke, and we can't wait to chat about all things family. Welcome back to the family

team's podcast. We are currently in a series where we're talking about winning our

kids' hearts. And so this is our third episode on this. And it's been an awesome conversation.

If you haven't heard it so far, definitely go back there and listen. But today we're talking

about a really important topic when it comes to winning our kids' hearts, which is setting aside

time for one-on-one connection, either with your kids or even your kids other. Right. So it's this idea of setting up one-on-ones, right? We have these kind of dynamics where sometimes we're parenting, and it's, you know, one to many, and it's like the group dynamic. But then we also do have these individual relationships. And as your family grows, it can get more and more exponential the number

of relationships in a family. And so today we got Jeremy, we got Jeff, we got April, and we're

going to be talking all about how to do that. Jeremy, set up a framework here. How do we think

about one-on-one relationships and proactively setting up those conversations?

Yeah, guys, this is the one tool that you're going to use to make sure none of your

kids fall through the cracks. It's sometimes not obvious, especially if you have a larger family,

if some kid is slowly drifting away from the family, especially at a heart level. And so we need

to have a proactive tool to lean into that. Sometimes if you don't do this, you can go for weeks or months and not realize I haven't deeply connected to one of my kids. And so we need to have a tool to make sure that does not happen. That's so good. And I know there's some mom or dad listening to this right now and you're like, I've been in diaper stage for 10 years. And I just want to say, as I've been in diapers for 14 years, not me personally, my children have been diapers for 14 years. Jeez, Blake, what a visual? Yes. And Jeff, what are you? You're probably what, 12 years in to be in a diaper stage? When you got a young family and now let's just throw one more meeting at you, I know there's someone who's like next turning on to the next podcast. They're just going to listen to something else. Jeff, before they switch away, talk to me about practically, how can you do this when you're leading a large young family? Yeah, I would say a couple things. One, take the pressure off. It's not another thing to do, but I would say it's something to piggyback off of what you already do. And so one really low-hanging fruit way that we've done this that actually the kids even find more meaningful is integrating it into a life we already live. And so kind of what is your work? What is your job? What are your rhythms? For me, I travel a ton. I'm at coffee shops a ton and I do podcast things like this a ton. And so a kid is usually coming with me on all of these, and this isn't the actual one-on-one connection, but it always is very easy when we're driving home after an hour podcast to go get a coffee for 45 minutes, to go play a card game for 45 minutes, to come with me on a speaking trip for 24 hours, and then we got plane rides, we got hotel time, we got time, all these things. And really, all of those connections that now I almost make me,

would probably make me tear up thinking about the last 11 years of having those, is because it was

just like, oh, why don't you just come with me? Oh, why don't you just come with me? And it's not them

just hanging out in the background. It's always like, hey, I got to do some work, but then it's an intentional focus time where we piggyback on top of that. And it's also great training for the kids as well, because then they're able to sit in these environments because they know they're earning something that they want to do. And then last thing I would say is maybe until the kids are probably 13 or 14, maybe even older than that. A lot of kids, I would say, consider what their parents do for work is, like, magical. Like, it's really awesome. When they see it, they're like, wow, this is unique, this is interesting. This is not what I thought you did. This is really cool. It comes with a lot of benefits. Like, for me, the kids just getting candy in a green room, they would say is probably the best thing that has ever happened in their entire life, the fact that they just get like free lifesavers, do you know what I mean? But to them, it feels so alluring and so magical and so awesome. And so I think kind of like take a step back, look at your life rhythms that you already have in your life, whether you're a firefighter, whether you're a speaker, whether you're a podcast or whether you're this and be like, man, how can I kind of piggyback off some of these rhythms

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