How to Win Friends, Influence People & Build Stronger Relationships Using the Power of Connection with Charles Duhigg

Dhru Purohit Show

Dhru Purohit

Alternative Health, Medicine, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 3.6K Ratings

🗓️ 21 February 2024

⏱️ 98 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode is brought to you by Lumebox and AquaTru. We understand that the quality of our relationships and connections within our community leads to a more fulfilling life and promotes happiness. However, communicating authentically and genuinely aren’t necessarily traits we're born with or that come naturally. Charles Duhigg is here to show us how we can change the way we communicate, add more meaning to our relationships, and extend our lifespan. Today, on the Dhru Purohit Show, Dhru sits down with author and writer Charles Duhigg to discuss how to become a supercommunicator. Charles shares the top traits that super communicators practice in conversations and how these practices can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships. He also delves into the science behind how these traits can promote longevity and overall happiness. If you're seeking guidance on becoming a better communicator, even with people you fundamentally disagree with, this episode is for you! Charles Duhigg is the author of The Power of Habit, about the science of habit formation in our lives, companies, and societies, and Smarter Faster Better, about the science of productivity. He currently writes at The New Yorker Magazine, and until a few years ago, was a reporter at the New York Times. There, he wrote “The iEconomy,” which focused on Apple and won a Pulitzer prize for explanatory reporting in 2013. In this episode, Dhru and Charles dive into (audio version / Apple Subscriber version): The top mistakes people make that prevent genuine connection (00:24 / 00:24) Ask yourself, why am I choosing to speak? (3:25 / 3:25) Looping for understanding (6:27 /6:27) Neuro Alignment during conversations (10:09 / 7:58) Listening to learn about the other person (15:57 / 13:53) Acquiring the right tools (23:20 / 21:11) Keywords and demeanor and what they signal (25:37 / 23:30) Words or responses that show a communication disconnect (34:23 / 30:35) Why you should want to be a supercommunicator (39:55 / 35:57) Every conversation is a quiet negotiation (53:45/ 50:02) How to connect with people who have different viewpoints (1:12:00/ 1:08:20) Four rules of a meaningful conversation (1:12:50 / 1:09:10) How super communication manifests to external success (1:24:10 / 1:22:12) Also mentioned in this episode: Charles’ new book: Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection Charles’ substack Hello listeners! I could use your feedback about the podcast. If you click here and answer this question, it would mean the world to me. Lumbeox is offering my community $260 off their FDA-registered portable Red Light device! That's over 50% off! Go to thelumebox.com/dhru and get your Red Light device. AquaTru is a countertop reverse osmosis purifier with a four-stage filtration system that removes 15x more contaminants than the bestselling water filters out there. Go to dhrupurohit.com/filter/ and get $100 off when you try AquaTru for yourself. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Charles, welcome to the podcast a pleasure to have you here.
0:03.4	Thank you so much for having me.
0:04.6	Today we're talking about unlocking the secret language of connection,
0:10.3	which is so important to all aspects of our lives not just our individual relationships but our personal
0:15.8	goal on living a long and healthy life. We're going to get back to that in a second and I want to start off by talking about the mistakes that people make along the way.
0:28.0	What are the top mistakes that you see people make every day that prevents them from authentically connecting with
0:36.0	somebody that they want to connect? It's a really great question because the way
0:39.8	we connect with most people is through conversation, right?
0:43.0	And yet, and we have conversations all day long,
0:45.3	we talk all day long.
0:47.0	And yet, despite that fact, despite that our brains are hardwired
0:51.3	to communicate, we screw it up again and again and again.
0:55.1	And I saw this in my own life.
0:56.5	Like when I started to write this book, I was having this issue, which was I would come home
1:00.8	from work and it would be like a long day and I would complain to my wife about like my boss is a jerk and none of my coworkers really appreciate me and
1:08.7	and my wife very reasonably would give me some good advice.
1:13.2	She would say something like, you know, why don't you take your boss out to lunch
1:16.2	and you guys can get to know each other?
1:18.3	But instead of using that as an opportunity to learn from her
1:21.1	or to connect with her, I would do exactly the opposite. I'd be like,
1:24.0	you're not listening to me, why aren't you hearing what I'm saying, I want you to be like outraged on my behalf.
1:29.0	And so I started talking to researchers trying to understand like why were these two people who love each other?
	...

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