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Betrayal Trauma Recovery

How to Use Art Therapy For Trauma – Corrine’s Story

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

Relationships, Mental Health, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.71.5K Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2021

⏱️ 20 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Many victims of emotional and psychological abuse wonder if art therapy for trauma can help with symptoms. Here’s what you need to know.

If you relate, you may wonder if you are experiencing emotional abuse. Did you know there are 19 different types of emotional abuse? See if you’re suffering from this type of trauma by taking our free emotional abuse quiz.

Transcript: How to Use Art Therapy For Trauma

Anne: I have a member of our community, Betrayal Trauma Recovery has live group sessions, on today’s episode. We’re going to call her Corrine, she’s an artist.

Corrine: Hello.

Anne: You used your art as therapy for the trauma you experienced when you discovered your husband’s sexual addiction. How did you find out?

Corrine: It was kind of baptism by fire. I got married, only to find out that my husband had a lot of issues that I wasn’t aware of. It involved lying, it involved covering things up. A lot of unhealthy things that were very hurtful and led to a lot of trauma, where I would put up walls, isolate myself even further, and of course nothing would get solved. It’s very, very dysfunctional. But I didn’t know how this led to my shopping, eating, anger, not healthy cycles.

Anne: Yeah, when we met, you had been processing your betrayal trauma through the context of codependency.

Things had to change from codependency

Anne: Can you tell me how you thought of them in the context of codependency, and then how you’re feeling now about the abuse model. Since we have discussed weaponized codependency. How has it been like transitioning to thinking about his addiction as an abuse issue?

Corrine: So, I noticed a cycle of betrayal that resulted in trauma, this unseen wound, which led to PTSD symptoms within myself, which created a wall within myself, so I could not receive or give love. I became selective in who I would talk with, like I would function, and talk to people, but I wouldn’t let people in. I was good at doing what was expected, getting along, making things smooth, but I was not good at being personal and talking to people in a real way.

Anne: So, let me see if I can restate. Were you resisting the abuse, trying to keep yourself safe? And since you weren’t aware that you were being abused, It felt like hiding yourself in that way. It made you a little safer.

Corrine: Yeah, exactly. And so I became very non-authentic for a long time, and it hurt me. It hurt my art. Just a few years ago, it kind of came to a head. It really hit me that things had to change. Obviously, we can only change ourselves. And when I did that, I started healing.

Anne: We’ve had women on who talk about songs about healing from trauma, but not someone who uses art. So as you focused on your own healing. What kinds of breakthroughs have you seen with art therapy for trauma, and how have these breakthroughs played out?

Art Therapy for trauma: Breakthroughs in Healing

Corrinne: I remember one night coming back from a class, and I knew I had to be honest with myself. Because I didn’t feel safe. I had shut down my feelings. I had shut down certain memories as a protective measure. And so I was able to get really honest and have that breakthrough, even though it was so difficult. One of the best things I learned was that I needed to trust them to be themselves. It was vital for them to have a chance to fail or succeed.

Anne: Yeah, I talk about this in my Betrayal Trauma Recovery Workshop. Which is the workshop I developed to help women see their husband’s true character, observe from a safe distance, and see who he really is. The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Workshop teaches women thought strategies, communication strategies, and boundaries strategies. To help keep themselves safe.

That’s such an interesting place that you came to. Probably a lot of listeners are thinking that’s so ironic that she would learn to trust someone who is untrustworthy, but what you’re trusting is that what he’s showing you is who he really is.

Corrine: The way I think of it is, I trust them to be them, themselves. It leads me to say, okay, I know this person. I know what they’ve done before, and I trust them to be themselves. I trust me to be me. To expect anything different is counterproductive. And then that was a step up for me.

Anne: So for me, I would say, If I’m going to trust my ex-husband to be himself, then I know I can’t trust him.

Corrine: Yeah, yeah.

Trust & Boundaries

Anne: If I trust him to be himself, I know I need to set boundaries around this. Because I don’t want the chaos to come into my home.

Corrine: Because that’s what they’ve shown us, right? Kind of try to narrow this down. The first and foremost thing is that we cannot control other people. We can show them. I think that’s more effective than telling anyone what we want them to do. They have choices that they can make. We can set boundaries. For example, as a protective measure, I only make food for the people who are kind to me.

So it’s best if I focus on myself, my choices, my healing, and to be lovingly honest with myself. In fact, just this week, I had to get honest with myself so that I can achieve what I want.

Anne: So let’s talk about your art, because I love it. Your paintings were so beautiful. I want to know about your exhibit. I want to talk about the different ways women can process it, like art therapy for trauma, the creative ways they can express themselves.

Corrine: Oh, awesome. I love this.

Art therapy for trauma: The Power of Creative Expression

Corrine: As far as the exhibit goes, that is something that resulted from when this unseen wound was discovered. When I came clean about my marriage situation and told the entire story on Facebook. I became public with it and gave up the complete secrecy of it all. And I saw this weight lift off myself from this dark space into this space of light, and hope to continue to move forward in a positive way.

Because of that, I started painting, and saw it from a whole different perspective. It’s a visual perspective, not a word, a language. So it’s more about feelings. It’s about your heart and your head being engaged, instead of just logic or emotion separately. When I started this series, gathering artists who also told their story, their resurrection, in a way. Because when you let go of all that, you become essentially a whole new person. And so you can realize that you are a powerful being, that you can move forward

As far as the idea of using art therapy for trauma, to recover from betrayal. Seriously, it’s one of the most powerful things. You can give a child some artwork supplies, and you can say tell me how you feel. They may not have the language to do it, but they can portray how they’re feeling. It doesn’t matter that this piece of art has not been put in a museum, you can feel how they’re feeling just by looking at it. And you can get a good picture, a story. Even though they don’t have the language to tell you everything.

Learn More about BTR Group Sessions

Processing Trauma Without words

Corrine: You can do betrayal meditations and get really centered, and then you can have an image in your mind that you can put on paper, canvas or in clay. And start to understand yourself even better. Where you’re coming from and what you need to learn to progress. A lot of people have had breakthroughs just by doing that.

Anne: Yeah, the idea that you could process trauma without talking is such a relief to me. That’s exactly why I wrote the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Workshop. Because there are only so many words. Sometimes I couldn’t get through to my trauma through my writing, which is my creative outlet. So those meditations helped me deep down into my feelings and body. You can learn more by clicking that link. There are so many ways to process our trauma without speaking, like art therapy for trauma.

Corrine: It’s not about displaying something. It’s about an emotion. When you find a medium that is yours, this may require getting a little messy, trying some different things. And not just a medium, but a style that is yours. Then it won’t feel awkward, and you won’t have to feel like you’re trying so hard. If it’s painting, one thing you can do is look at different painters, maybe color field painters, maybe different line qualities. I was able to teach a class. We talked about, is there a feeling in this picture? It’s just color blocks.

But there was this resonance, this vibrancy to it, and you could feel it. And because of that, it was a good piece of art. It wasn’t, oh look, it looks like a person. That’s what a camera is for.

Find a way that works for you

Corrine: What we tried to focus on was, how does it feel? And it’s important when you’re trying to heal somehow to figure out how you’re actually feeling.

Anne: Yeah, you talked about that at the beginning, getting honest with yourself to know how you’re feeling and why. We have exercises like that in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Workshop, which helps women get in touch with their feelings. Art is another way to do that. I actually garden, and that’s one way that helps me process my feelings, working with dirt. There are so many ways to process these emotions.

Corrine: The important thing is to find a solution that will support you, and you can actually heal and move forward.

Anne: Yeah, that is the goal, to find a way to heal from emotional abuse.

that works for you. Whether it’s art therapy for trauma, or some other way. Like I mentioned in this episode, we have the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Workshop that will help you discover what will work for you.

Well, Corrine, thank you so much. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts today.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, BTR.org. I'm Anne. I'm sure you remember what it was like when you were searching for help,

0:07.6

maybe for your husband, hoping to find the right program or therapist. That's why I started podcasting.

0:13.4

I supported my husband through seven years of pornography addiction recovery and not one therapist during that time,

0:20.3

told me I was experiencing emotional

0:22.3

and psychological abuse and sexual coercion. I didn't want any other woman on the planet to be in the

0:28.9

dark. If you're like the majority of my listeners, you're experiencing the type of abuse that's

0:33.6

invisible and difficult to wrap your head around. Your husband is using porn or having affairs or lying to you, and you're getting the same

0:40.5

bad advice about how to improve communication or your relationship.

0:44.5

If you need support from women who totally understand, check out our daily group session

0:49.1

schedule at BTR.org slash group.

0:51.6

We'd love to see you in a session today.

0:54.0

One simple, anonymous way to help spread the word

0:56.7

is to click, follow, or subscribe to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast on your favorite podcasting app.

1:02.8

While you're there, every five-star rating helps make this podcast more visible and will help

1:07.6

save other women from getting the wrong kind of help, like a couple

1:10.9

program that will make this type of abuse worse. For those of you who follow or subscribe to this

1:16.0

podcast, thank you so much. Your support means so much to me. I have Corinne Fawcett on the podcast

1:23.5

today. She is an artist and I would like her to introduce herself because she has a very

1:29.2

interesting story. So welcome, Corinne. Hello. I think I relate to a lot of people,

1:37.4

you know, difficult childhood. I was visually and hearing impaired. So that isolated me a lot.

1:47.8

That became a problem later on in a marriage where I needed to know how to communicate. I needed to know how to solve issues instead of just hiding.

1:55.0

It made the situation more difficult. I needed to use what I did have, which was the artistic ability to communicate,

...

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