How to Unf*ck Your Conditioning as a Mother

Under the Influence with Jo Piazza

Jo Piazza, Influence Inc.

Society & Culture, Kids & Family, Parenting, Personal Journals, Technology

4.3 • 833 Ratings

🗓️ 30 October 2025

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Therapist, writer, and content creator Vanessa Spinarsky helps women untangle the cultural scripts that shape how we mother. Her viral message to “unf*ck your conditioning” has resonated with thousands of mothers who are tired of feeling like their worth depends on self-erasure. This conversation dives into the myths of the “good mom,” the performance of control, and how social media keeps us dysregulated for profit. We talk about what it looks like to stop performing motherhood and start living it, why burnout is really a form of self-abandonment, and how to find authenticity in a system designed to make women disappear. Follow Vanessa on Instagram here. Join our newsletter community here. ORDER EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU here. Visit our lovely sponsors here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm going to tell you exactly what you need to do.
0:02.0	Dominate your finances.
0:04.0	Sunday morning, listening to questionable financial advice from the Fintock Bros on his social feed.
0:11.0	Drowning in green.
0:13.0	Scale, scale, scale, scale, scale.
0:15.0	This is the moment Isaac chose to search Barclay's life skills,
0:18.0	get some better money intel and save up for that new skateboard.
0:22.3	We're helping young people become money confident.
0:25.4	Search Barclay's life skills.
0:27.5	Barclays, make money work for you.
0:35.6	Hey all, Joe here and you are listening to Under the Influence.
0:39.3	We talk a lot on this show about what happens when motherhood becomes content.
0:45.8	And motherhood is content for a lot of us, not just for influencers.
0:50.3	It's content for the group chat.
0:52.8	It's content for the Facebook page. it's content for the Facebook page, it's content for your
0:57.1	Instagram, and even if you're not a brand, parenting, which is a thing that's honestly
1:02.9	supposed to be messy and real, often starts to feel curated and optimized for engagement.
1:12.9	My guest today, Vanessa Spanarski,
1:18.3	has been thinking about that a lot too. She's a therapist and a writer who works with mothers to,
1:25.8	in her words, not mine, unfuck their conditioning. I love that. I love it. So what that means is to try to start unraveling all of the invisible rules and expectations that have shaped how we mother, both in public and in private spaces.
1:35.3	I'm talking about the myths of being a good mom, a selfless mom, a productive mom, or maybe the mom who can do it all without losing her cool.
1:43.7	It was funny, one of my friends came over to pick up her daughter from a play date the other day.
	...

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