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The Alli Worthington Show

How to Trust Yourself Again After You've Been Wrong

The Alli Worthington Show

Alli Worthington

Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.9646 Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2026

⏱️ 19 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Join the  Uplift Community App  TODAY!    There is a specific kind of loss that does more than hurt. It rearranges you. I know because I lived it. A business I believed in fell apart. A few friendships did not survive the fallout. A decision I made in good faith went sideways in a way I never saw coming. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, I stopped trusting the voice inside me that said yes in the first place. This episode isn't about the mistake. It's about what follows: confidence fading, second-guessing taking over, hovering over the brake, even with a clear path. I'll take you back to when it happened to me. After a meeting with an investor in New York City in 2012, I sat in a cafe with four close friends and business partners. Without anyone saying a word, we all knew it was over. The startup was finished. Two friendships didn't survive. For almost a year after, I was moving, but not freely. Every decision felt like a test I was set to fail. If you've been there, this episode may finally voice what you've felt in silence.   What You'll Learn in This Episode: Why being wrong about a decision and being wrong about yourself as a decision maker are two completely different things (and how your brain collapses them together in about four seconds) What your amygdala (Alli calls her "Becky") is actually doing after a painful loss, and why what feels like discernment is often just fear doing excellent costume work The two questions to ask about any decision you're still carrying at 2 a.m. How to turn the replay loop into actual data instead of an open wound Why self-trust rebuilds through small, consistent low-stakes reps, not a breakthrough moment   Timestamps: (00:21) - Introduction: How to trust yourself again when you've been wrong (01:36) - The friendship losses that made it personal (02:19) - What happens when being wrong stops being an event and starts feeling like a verdict (02:41) - The four-second leap: "that didn't work" to "I can't trust my own judgment" (03:03) - How Alli pulled back, got quiet, started hovering over the brake (03:42) - Fear as an excellent designer: it shows up looking exactly like wisdom (03:42) - What self-distrust actually looks like (running decisions by five people, scrolling for someone else's experience, "waiting on God" when you heard from him two weeks ago) (04:46) - Starting to ask a different question about what she'd lost (05:16) - Grieving the losses as real, then separating them from a verdict about her instincts (07:28) - The GPS analogy: deleting the app because it routed you through a construction zone once (08:00) - Romans 8:28: not a promise that decisions will be perfect, but a promise that He works with all of them (08:49) - What the rebuild is really about (hint: not becoming better, giving yourself permission to use the judgment you already have) (09:28) - Step 1: Separate the data from the story. Two questions to ask about the decision you're still carrying. (10:37) - The identity shift that changes everything: "I'm becoming a woman who evaluates decisions instead of using them as evidence against herself" (11:22) - Step 2: Turn regret into data. One question that stops the replay loop. (11:57) - What to do with the answer (and what to do if the answer is nothing new) (12:38) - Step 3: Stack small trust reps. Physical therapy for your confidence. (13:28) - Stacking evidence until your brain starts treating decision-making as something you can handle (14:14) - Being wrong does not disqualify you. It sometimes informs you.   Links to great things we discussed:    Alli’s Product Recommendation - Eucerin Face Immersive Hydration Daily Lotion  Function Health Take the Secret Superpower Quiz Join the Uplift Community Follow Alli on Instagram Don’t forget to watch Alli Worthington on YouTube!  I hope you loved this episode! 🎉Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so you never miss a thing. And guess what? We're on YouTube! If y

Transcript

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0:00.0

Your brain, after a painful loss, does something really specific, and it's documented by researchers, the amygdala, who you know I like to call Becky, the amygdala or Becky, is part of your brain that processes threat.

0:16.2

And Becky does not mess around. After something costs you, she starts filing things away. Anything around that

0:24.0

thing that made you hurt, she's going to put a danger symbol on that. And then she's going to try

0:28.9

to protect you by throwing up a caution flag every time you get close to a decision again.

0:34.2

She means well, but she's also completely overreacting. You didn't lose your ability to think

0:39.9

or discern or hear from God. Becky just got a little too enthusiastic with the warning labels.

0:52.5

Let's go back in time.

0:55.0

It was 2012.

1:09.9

I was sitting in a small cafe in New York City with four of my closest friends and business partners, sparkling water all around, a beautiful view out the window and the kind of setting where everything looks like it should be fine.

1:17.0

We looked like young founders of a startup on our way to take over, but things were not fine.

1:22.2

We had just walked out of a meeting with a pretty well-known investor, and somewhere between that conference room and that cafe we all knew.

1:25.7

Nobody said it first.

1:27.0

We just sat there, and the truth settled over the

1:30.0

table like bad weather. The company we had built together, the vision that we had all believed in,

1:35.6

the thing that we had all bed on, it was over. We couldn't agree on where it was going. We couldn't

1:43.1

align on what taking funding would mean for our futures. We couldn't align with the vision of the investor. And without that alignment, there was no path forward. I flew home from New York City that summer and I spent the better part of the next year being afraid. Not just of business, though that was real.

2:04.0

Afraid of my own judgment.

2:05.8

Afraid of that part of me that said,

2:08.3

yes, this is a good idea.

2:09.8

These are the right people.

2:10.8

This is going to work.

2:12.6

I felt like that part of me couldn't be trusted anymore.

...

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