How to talk with someone intimidating
Savvy Psychologist
Macmillan Holdings, LLC
4.6 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 11 February 2026
⏱️ 6 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
550. Continuing our two-part series on speaking up at work, this week's episode tackles how to talk with someone intimidating—a boss, professor, or anyone who makes your adrenaline spike. You’ll learn how to recognize dominance signals, mentally humanize scary people, use your own body language to project calm confidence, and prepare for tough conversations without overpreparing. Regardless of your intimidating situation, these four practical tools will help you use your voice with more clarity and self-respect.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome back to savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson, and I'm back again as your interim |
| 0:10.1 | host. Here at the show, we help you face life's challenges with evidence-based approaches, |
| 0:15.9 | a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment. Last week, we talked about how to speak up in a meeting. So, let's make it a two-part |
| 0:24.9 | series to help you use your voice and speak up at work. This week, we'll cover how to talk with |
| 0:32.2 | someone intimidating. With the rise of remote work, online classes, and hybrid everything, it's understandable if we're all a little rusty when it comes to speaking face-to-face with people in authority. |
| 0:46.5 | Bosses, professors, overbearing in-laws, or anyone we find intimidating. |
| 0:52.8 | So, how might you approach someone intimidating IRL to ask for a raise, |
| 0:58.0 | give feedback, ask a question at office hours, or otherwise deal with someone aggressive, |
| 1:03.4 | powerful, or with bulging forehead veins? You're in the right place. Check out these four |
| 1:09.2 | ideas. Tip number one is know the signals. Intimidating people |
| 1:16.1 | use body language to signal their dominance. It may be unintentional, or more likely, |
| 1:23.3 | they know exactly what they're doing. One of the classics is the head tilt. |
| 1:29.4 | A fascinating study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that tilting your head up or down |
| 1:36.6 | increases your faces width to height ratio, which is linked to greater intimidation. |
| 1:43.3 | This is why your boss peering over her reading glasses at you sends a bolt of electricity down your spine. |
| 1:50.1 | Other intimidating signals include taking up space, think hands on hips or feet up on the desk, |
| 1:57.7 | not smiling or otherwise staying stone-faced, or steady unblinking eye contact. |
| 2:05.4 | It is not fun to be on the receiving end of any of these, but if you know the signals, it's like |
| 2:11.9 | having a decoder ring. Looking for the signs and labeling them puts you on the offensive. |
| 2:18.7 | In your head, channel your inner David Attenborough. |
| 2:22.2 | The silverback boss laces his hands behind his head in an attempt to appear larger. |
| 2:28.6 | Tip number two. Use a variation of the old, picture them in their underwear advice. |
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