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Life Kit

How to stop overanalyzing romantic relationships

Life Kit

NPR

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Kids & Family, Education, Business

4.33.9K Ratings

🗓️ 23 December 2024

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Romance makes us feel vulnerable, and dating can feel high stakes. We talk about how to keep things in perspective and take care of your mental health in relationships.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.

0:05.3

Hey everybody, it's Mariel.

0:07.7

I wonder sometimes, why is it that as humans, we can be our most confident, together, relaxed selves, and then romance comes into the picture.

0:18.2

And we get weird.

0:19.6

I mean, I've noticed this for a long time. Like, you could

0:22.3

have a friend who is like a really stable, rational friend. And then in their dating life,

0:27.5

they're like a completely different person. Alison Raskin is a writer, a podcaster, and a mental

0:32.6

health advocate. And she has a theory. I think it's because it's a part of us that is asked to be the most vulnerable.

0:39.9

Like it is often where we have the most intimacy.

0:43.4

It's also more, I think, appearance-based than other aspects of our lives.

0:48.7

There's a lot of insecurity around, like, outright rejection.

0:52.4

It's really high stakes, and it kind of taps into the societal

0:56.5

messaging that we should always have a partner and that having a partner is a signal of

1:00.8

yourself worth. And so I think there's just so much tied into romantic relationships that it can

1:06.3

bring out parts of us we don't experience in other aspects of our lives.

1:11.9

Allison wrote a book called O overthinking about you, navigating romantic relationships when

1:16.7

you have anxiety, OCD, and or depression. Those are three things that she's dealt with personally,

1:23.1

and there are also three disorders that tend to co-occur. So this episode is for the folks in the book

1:28.3

title, but she's gotten feedback that the advice is also helpful in general because... In reality,

1:34.5

like relationships and especially romantic relationships can sort of ignite anxiety in us, even if we

1:40.7

don't necessarily have anxiety in other aspects of our lives. And I also think

1:45.4

just being in relation with another person can be really confusing. Oh, also, because many of us

...

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