How to Stop Hoping Your Ex Comes Back

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 22 October 2024

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, we're explore the common and very human experience of hoping an ex will come back after a break-up saying they've changed their mind and want to reconcile. Whether you were left unexpectedly or the break-up was a long time coming, the hope that an ex will realise their mistake and come back can be powerful and all-consuming. I'll share some mindset reframes and tools to relate to your hoping differently, so you can validate yourself while still moving forward in a direction t...

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to On attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to
0:15.1	overcome insecurity and build healthy thriving relationships. I'm your host
0:20.7	relationship coach Stephanie Rigg and I'm really glad you're here.
0:29.7	Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.
0:33.6	In today's episode I'm answering the question of how do I stop hoping that my ex is going to
0:39.2	change his mind and come back?
0:41.7	So this is one that I got in my Instagram Q&A last week and I got so many
0:46.5	responses to the answer that I shared thanking me and saying that it was really
0:51.8	relatable for a lot of people and so I thought that it was maybe worth elaborating on in a podcast episode
0:58.0	So this question of when we've been through a breakup and there's this part of us that is really holding on to hope that the person who broke our heart who broke up with us,
1:10.0	we hope that they're going to come back and say I changed my mind and I made a terrible mistake please take me back and you know another part that the person who asked this question originally on Instagram included was I know I deserve more but
1:24.3	how do I stop hoping? So I'm going to be sharing some thoughts today on all of that on how to stop hoping
1:31.2	whether we should be trying to stop hoping. spoiler alert, I don't know that that's something that we can or should be trying to control.
1:37.6	But certainly where we should be focusing our energy in ways that we can really support ourselves to move forward in a healthy
1:45.9	adaptive way that actually allows us to process whatever it is that we're experiencing
1:51.2	and move forward with grace and dignity and self-respect so that we can be
1:56.9	best placed to embark upon our next chapter whatever that looks like and so that's
2:01.9	what I'm going to be talking about today and I should
2:03.6	say at the outset, although it's in the context of a breakup the conversation
2:08.1	that we're having today, I do think that a lot of what I'm going to be sharing
2:11.8	is broadly applicable to you if you are
2:14.6	someone who often fights against your emotions. So if you often find yourself saying
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