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Good Life Project

How to Stop Fighting And Start Talking (and Healing) | Stan Tatkin

Good Life Project

Jonathan Fields / Acast

Education, Wellness, Self-improvement, Midlife, Health & Fitness, Intentional Living, Personal Growth, Living Well, How To

4.53.4K Ratings

🗓️ 29 May 2023

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

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Conflicts are inevitable in long-term relationships. But often we argue in ways that push our partners away instead of resolving issues.


Dr. Stan Tatkin, a marriage and family therapist who has spent decades working with couples and training practitioners to improve communication in relationships believes there is a better way for partners to weather conflicts and emerge closer. His new book, In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them offers strategies grounded in neurobiology and years of clinical experience.


When disagreements arise, primal instincts trigger 'fight or flight', making us defend ourselves instead of understanding each other. But with awareness and new strategies, partners can shift this dynamic. As Stan says, we can learn to "work problems, not each other", regulate emotions, consider interests equally, and prioritize the relationship.


We'll discuss Dr. Tatkin's approach for navigating conflicts productively. His insights may save your next argument and reveal how you can grow closer through challenges together.


You can find Stan at: Website | Instagram


If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Julie and John Gottman about deepening long-term relationships.


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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey there, good luck, Brasjie family. We are always looking for ways to bring you more

0:04.7

of what you love and to do that, we need your help. We have created a quick survey to

0:09.7

get to know your preferences better. It's all about what you want to hear, the topics

0:14.0

you're interested in, the format, and how we can improve our show to serve you better.

0:18.4

So if you've got a spare minute, please check the link in the show notes. We're going to

0:22.7

tinyurl.com slash good life survey to take the survey. We value your feedback immensely

0:28.5

and it will only take a few moments of your time. Remember this is our community and

0:33.0

we want to make sure that we are providing content that sparks inspiration, fuels growth,

0:38.0

and makes your listening experience truly enjoyable and rewarding. Thanks for being a part

0:43.0

of our journey and we appreciate your help in making good life project even better.

0:47.5

So head on over to tinyurl.com slash good life survey or click that link in the show notes,

0:53.1

we'd love to hear from you. On to our show.

0:57.4

When it comes to a purpose-centered life, it has to be void of whether we feel like it

1:02.8

or not. So you and I decide we're going to be loving and affectionate every day throughout

1:08.5

every day. That's what we want. But the question that people stumble on, do we do this even

1:15.1

if we're mad at each other and the answer has to be yes? Do we do it with, we hate each

1:20.5

other? The answer has to be yes. In all cases, it must be done because it serves a purpose.

1:27.4

And I believe that that's a good life. That is what protects good feelings to remain

1:33.6

and nourish and keeps negative feelings from growing. The way we feel about each other

1:38.6

has a great deal to do with whether we're doing what we say we're going to do and whether

1:44.0

we're co-creating something that is worth this union. Right? What are we getting on? It's

1:49.5

not just for love. So have you ever found yourself in the middle of a disagreement and

...

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