How to Talk About Sex, Let Go of Shame & Get What You Need | Vanessa Marin
Good Life Project
Jonathan Fields / Acast
4.5 • 3.4K Ratings
🗓️ 1 June 2023
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Sex and relationship expert Vanessa Marin discusses the taboo nature of discussing sex and how it can lead to unmet needs and dissatisfaction in relationships. Her new book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, provides practical exercises and dialogue prompts to improve communication around intimacy, breaking down shame and stigma. Through open discussions on touchy subjects and setting rituals for intimacy, Marin believes couples can foster deeper connection, igniting intimacy and enhancing their love lives.
- Many people struggle to openly discuss sex due to shame and stigma.
- Open communication about sex and intimacy is important for a healthy relationship.
- Vanessa recommends five core conversations: acknowledgment, connection, desire, pleasure, and exploration.
- She provides practical methods to make these conversations easier.
- Rituals like makeout routines can create intimacy
- Understanding one's desires, boundaries, and pleasures enables satisfying communication.
- Giving positive feedback during sex helps partners figure out each other's pleasures.
- Scheduling sex demonstrates priorities but reframing as "planning" can help.
You can find Vanessa at: Website | Instagram
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I believe so much in love and I believe so much in intimacy. |
| 0:04.0 | I know what it feels like to have that kind of connection. |
| 0:07.6 | I know how special it feels, how magical it feels. |
| 0:11.9 | I know the impact that it can have on my own life and the way that it's just |
| 0:15.2 | brings so much more energy and vitality and excitement day-to-day life. |
| 0:19.5 | And I want couples to get to experience that. |
| 0:25.0 | So have you ever wondered how and when sex, |
| 0:28.0 | which every person who has ever lived is a product of, |
| 0:31.7 | and can be a source of deep connection, communication, and pleasure, |
| 0:35.5 | how it became such a sensitive, cringeworthy, and sometimes shame-inducing subject? |
| 0:41.4 | How it's led to so much bottling up of feelings, stifling of needs, and unrequited yearnings |
| 0:47.0 | that's left so many longing for more closeness in their relationships? |
| 0:51.2 | I mean, how did such a fundamental part of the human experience become so taboo? |
| 0:55.8 | And how can we break the patterns? |
| 0:58.0 | To get way more comfy, not just talking about it, but also sharing our needs, |
| 1:02.9 | desires, curiosities, in a way that brings us together rather than drives us apart. |
| 1:07.5 | To help answer these questions, sex and relationship expert Vanessa Martin |
| 1:11.6 | reveals how simple yet meaningful communication shifts can transform conversations with |
| 1:16.9 | your significant other. Vanessa, the author of the new book Sex Talks, the five |
| 1:21.6 | conversations that will transform your love life helps us overcome the shame, the stigma, |
| 1:26.2 | the misconceptions around intimacy that leave even loving couples feeling disconnected. |
| 1:31.9 | She provides practical exercises and prompts that couples can implement |
... |
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