Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

In order to know who is right for you, you have to understand your own psychology.

You have to understand yourself.

You have to understand where your vulnerabilities lie, where your weaknesses lie, where your

strengths are, the trauma that you've been through.

You know, if you've been, if you've had a rough go at life, then you're going to need someone who makes you feel really accepted and safe and doesn't judge you for that.

It doesn't give you a hall pass to bring that trauma in, but the reality is our passes

our past.

And so understanding who's the right partner for you is not only understanding your

psychology, but getting really real with yourself.

Because people will say, oh, I just wish I was this person.

I'm really attracted to outdoorsy people and I just wish I was this person. I'm really attracted to outdoorsy people. And I just

wish I was more outdoorsy. Oh, I could be more outdoorsy. No, you have to be really real with

yourself. You hate the outdoors. You might be really attracted to someone who likes the outdoors,

but sorry, Charlie, like, that's not going to be right for you. You can't sleep in a tent for three

nights with bugs. That's not you. It's not you. You got to be super real. And like that's not going to be right be right for you can't sleep in a 10 for three nights with

bugs that's not you it's not you you got to be super real and like that person who you're really

attracted to does that it's not it's not going to work long term it's not going to work long term

you could have a fun fling but it's not going to work long term so really knowing yourself

and honoring yourself is how you choose well yeah that could be could be the summer fling, but then it's like if you're with the outdoorsy guy, who that's his, he wants to be his life six months in the mountains a year. Exactly. Exactly. I'm trying to create a stable home with kids in the future. Exactly. It just, it doesn't work. It doesn't mean they're not great people. It's just not going to work. It's just not what you want for the vision of your life. Exactly. And people have to get really real with themselves. And they don't. And then they end up paying for that. What's been the biggest mistakes you've brought to relationships? Me personally? That you've later had to realize and take accountability for,

okay, yeah, I was responsible for this or this or I could have shown up differently. Yeah,

for me definitely has been in the past codependency and what it looks like is it's funny.

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