How to Stop Beating Yourself Up

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2023

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Want help to stop beating yourself up? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Today we’re going to talk about beating yourself up. Whether you made a stupid mistake, you lost your cool with someone you care about or you’re just a perfectionist with imposter syndrome - It’s easy to get sucked into the toilet hole of beating yourself up. And then you do this ridiculous thing which I’m going to call the “The Self-Exemption-Bias” which keeps you trapped in the cycle. Being too hard on yourself decreases your confidence and your sense of self-esteem and self-worth. But the good news is that you can learn to stop beating yourself up, improve your self-esteem and learn to feel self-compassion and love. Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.co... Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanut... Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/bes... Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c... If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam, a licensed marriage and family therapist,
0:06.2	and I believe therapeutic education can change lives and should be easily accessible to all.
0:12.1	These podcast episodes are filled with a research-backed therapeutic education that you can start applying to your life today.
0:19.1	If you like these episodes and you want to go into more depth
0:21.8	on specific topics like how to process tough emotions,
0:26.0	how to change your brain and build better relationships,
0:29.6	or how to help support someone you know with a mental illness,
0:32.8	then check out my classes at TherapyInanutshell.com. Each podcast episode here comes from a corresponding
0:40.1	video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel. Also, these podcasts are
0:45.0	educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be receiving from a therapist
0:50.2	or other health professionals. Okay, let's jump into this week's skill.
0:55.0	Okay, today we're going to talk about beating yourself up.
0:58.0	Whether you made a stupid mistake, you lost your cool with someone you care about,
1:02.0	or you're just a perfectionist with imposter syndrome,
1:05.0	it's easy to get sucked into the toilet hole of beating yourself up.
1:10.0	And then you do this ridiculous thing, which I'm going to
1:12.9	call the exception BS, I mean the self-exemption bias, which keeps you trapped in the cycle. But more on
1:20.6	that after this cute little nut cracks. Okay, so you messed up. You just yelled at your kid or you
1:25.8	blew up in a meeting or your girlfriend broke up with you or on the other hand, you're a perfectionist. You work your tail off, but you can't fix everything for everyone every time. So then you start beating yourself up. You say, oh, why am I such an idiot? Or you say to yourself, I'm the worst parent. Or why do I have to have such a big mouth? And you stress yourself out.
1:45.6	You think, oh, I'm probably ruining my kid for life. Or you threaten yourself. I deserve to be
1:51.0	fired for sure. Or you criticize yourself. I can never do things right. You filter out the
1:56.4	memories of the good and you only highlight what's wrong. Don't believe me? Would it be easier for you to
	...

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